


Love, a Dark Lord and other magical happenings

by Brambles



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Battle of Hogwarts, But not explicit, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fae & Fairies, Female Draco Malfoy, Friendship, Genderswap, Good Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Identity Issues, Identity Reveal, Jealousy, Love Triangle, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Draco Malfoy, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Romance, Secret Identity, Sirius Black Lives, Spy Draco Malfoy, Torture, Violence, mention of non-con, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 03:16:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 41,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17800058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brambles/pseuds/Brambles
Summary: Draco Malfoy wasn't born a boy but a girl. Ever since she can remember she had to wear a magical glamour. Her parents told her it was for her own protection. Since she loved and trusted them,  she never doubted them and thought it would be best to follow their lead. That was until Voldemort came back and she saw with her own eyes what a cruel monster he was and how wrong her parents were with their teaching and her upbringing about pureblood superiority. No one desserved to die because they weren't pureblood wizards. Draco decided to become a spy for the light side, without the knowledge of her parents. While spying she develops friendship with the golden trio and more.





	1. Something is up

**Author's Note:**

> It has been some time since I last wrote a fanfiction. And I never wrote one about Harry Potter. Nowadays I really like Fem!Draco Stories and also Draco/Ron and Draco/Harry Stories. And to warn you I don't upload regularly and English is not my native language. I hope the characters won't be too OOC but if they are than it's for the sake of the plot :D :D  
> For the beginning, the chapter may stay rather short until I get into a better writing flow.

It had been a normal dinner in Hogwarts' Great Hall. And it was. For that year. Like every year since Harry James Potter, the boy who lived, attended the magical school of Britain there was a certain feel of doom in the air. Not everyone felt at ease and thought that they would survive this year without any incidents or injuries. Especially since it was known that the Dark Lord was back. That he had a real human body, one made of blood and flesh. He was once again a breathing being whose goal was it to eliminate Harry Potter, everyone who stood in his way and rule over a pureblooded magical world. In his world there were no muggles and therefore no muggleborn wizards and no halfblood. Those were the scum of earth and had no right to be in his presence nor to be alive and breathe even one gasp of air. And eventhough Voldemort was a real threat to Harry Potter and all his friends and allies, he concerned himself with another issue, with another person. Someone who he and every other person who attended Hogwarts thought of as an enemy. Someone that was as old as him and started in Hogwarts the same year as him. The heir of the Malfoy family, a blond Slytherin, the teenaged boy called Draco Malfoy. 

Since the beginning of the year, Harry had become somewhat obsessed of his fellow classmate. He did not behave like any other year. And that meant only one thing for Harry Potter: Something was up with him! Or rather he was up to something. Every cell in Potter's body screamed to him that he better do something before the Slytherin does something that might hurt him or his friends. His family was after all a known ally of the Dark Lord and therefore dangerous. His family was into the dark arts, a magic that was not only dangerous and violent but also deadly. Especially towards non-pureblooded wizards. Harry had no such luxus that he could ignore his senses that told him that he better take care of this issue. Hardly were his senses ever wrong. And one misstep might cost someone's life. Someone who might be close and dear to Harry. And eventhough his friends thought him insane, mad or obsessive, he would always trust in his gut. No matter what.

„I am sure of it. Malfoy is up to something!” Harry was sure of it. There was no doubt in the matter.

  
“Bloody hell, Harry! Can you just once, for the love of Merlin, talk about something else while we are eating? Or like ever talk about something else than bloody Malfoy? It's not like we see the ferret face every day in classes and now you even talk every time about him when we eat? I have enough! I am not like you, not my whole life resolves around Malfoy or what he's up to!"

Stunned, Harry looked away from his friends to his plate that was hardly filled with food. He had been too concerned with the blond Slytherin to even think about eating. In retaliation, Harry only mumbled something incoherent. After Having stated his opinion, Ron resumed eating. Or more likely shoveling excessive amounts of food into his mouth.

Conversation at the Gryffindor table had halted shortly. Everyone was aware that Harry was starting to obsess about a certain Slytherin. He nearly only talk about Malfoy and that he might be up to something nefarious. The Gryffindors had decided to ignore his rambling. Ever since Voldemort had come back and Diggory died, he was not the same person. Something that not anybody understood eventhough the Gryffindor had witnessed a death with his own eyes, just mere metres in front of him. Harry was more closed off and easily angered. They were all aware that such happenings were not easily worked through and Voldemort was a danger to all but it is not like they, simply average students, could really do anything against someone like the Dark Lord. It is better to leave this matter to the adults and the order. They were all not powerful enough to really help them. They were only just learning how to fight. Some had decided to join Dumbledore's army but that was mostly because they wanted to be able to defend themselves and because they believed in Potter. He had survived every action that Voldemort had planned against him. He had defeated him as a baby and survived the encouter at the final task in the Triwizard Tournament.

But still no one really believed that Malfoy was up to something really evil. Even his close friends thought that he was just talking nonsense. Most likely did he try to relieve his stress  by obsessing over Malfoy. Malfoy might be a bully but nothing more severe. He seemed more like a cowards and not some mastermind or spineless underling that would follow every task given to him. Especially since his father was in Azkaban and therefore rather powerless. Nearly all students of Hogwarts thought that he was rather harmless. All bark but no bite.

Since Ron's voice had gotten rather loud, the Gryffindors had stopped their conversation and looked towards the Golden Trio. It seemed like a typical quarel between friends, so the rest of the Gryffindor table started resuming theirs talks with each other and also continued eating their breakfast. Ginny shortly looked towards her brother and his friend  but did not say anything to or about them. She started talking to Dean. She sometimes felt like an outsider with these three friends. They were just so close to each other and talk about things that she had no clue about it. And it rather annoyed them to explain everything to her so that she too could understand what was going on. She felt rather useless and decided to distance herself a bit for some time. Establish her own school life, with her own friends and problems. Just something normal and every normal student would do. Maybe she did not suit the life of one Harry Potter and his gang. She scoffed.

Hermione just shook her head while trying to secretly get a peek of the Slytherin table and a certain blond wizard. To her surprise he was seated with his back to the Gryffindor table. This was a rather unusual occurrence. Normally, he would not waste any opportunity to sneer at them or to try to provoke them. Maybe something was really up with Malfoy. In the last few weeks, it had seemed like he had lost some weight. Something hard to spot since their robes rather hide the bodies from everyone's eyes. In general, he did not behave like he normally did, especially with them, Non-Slytherins. He hardly bullied them or engaged in any kind of conflict. The more Hermione thought about it the more suspicious she got with his behaviour herself. There was no way that he might be too concerned with his grades. They had gotten worse since the beginning of the year, but he seemed not to really care about them. Every time Hermione was in the library, which was often, he was never there. And every time Harry looked at the Marauder's map, he was definitely not his room in the Slytherin dorms. Hermione sighed. It seemed like this school year, like every other one, won't be easy and normal. Was it too much to ask for a normal school year? All because a homicidal dark wizard was on the loose and trying to kill all non-pureblood wizards and anyone who was only a tad bit muggle-friendly. Well, at least she could never say that her life was boring. Hermione sighed again and massaged her temples. She was starting to get a headache.

Just then the blond wizard stood up and exited the Great Hall rather quickly. Without any of his usual followers. Strange.  
As soon as Harry observed this, he jumped up. “I’m gonna follow him!”  
“Harry!”, Hermione hissed.  
But it was no use in trying to stop him. He was already on his way to follow him out of the Great Hall.  
“Ron, let’s get up and follow Harry. We can’t afford to have these two beat each other up and lose any House points. Or get Harry in detention, it's not like he has anything else to do.”  
“Why not? Just let him beat the ferret up.”  
“Ron! Don’t you think Harry is in enough trouble as it is? He does not need to add any more detention or more antagonizing Malfoy. Just one school year without any trouble. Is that too much to ask for?”  
“Fine, fine. We are tallking about Harry Potter. There is no way that any year would be normal. That ain't bloody possible. But whatever. I’m going, I’m going. Bloody hell.”

The two Gryffindor left the Great Hall, without any other Gryffindor since they were busy eating and did not really wanted to put up with Harry and his new-found obsession. Not even Ginny who was now busy flirting with Dean. Hermione was not sure if Ginny was using this relationship to make Harry jealous or if she really liked Dean. But if it was the latter then it had not shown much effect. Harry was way too busy being obsessed with Malfoy and chasing him around. As they walked a few steps they saw Harry leaning, impatiently, on a pillar.

“There you are! Hurry up! He’s waiting in Myrtle’s bathroom. I think something serious is happening.”  
“Do you think the others bought that? It wasn’t too much?”, Ron asked while hurrying.  
“No one seemed suspicious or really bothered in Gryffindor. And I think Malfoy is not on good terms with the rest of Slytherin, they seemed not to really care that he hardly ate something and left so early. Not even Goyle or Crabbe”, Hermione stated.  
Just a few minutes later the Golden Trio arrived in Myrtle’s bathroom, only to see Malfoy pacing around in the bathroom. No Myrtle in sight.  
“Oh look, who’s here? The scarhead, blood traitor and the know-it-all!”, Malfoy sneered.


	2. Discussions in the girl's bathroom Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you a lot for all these kudos~~~  
> I am really happy that so many people read the first chapter ^^  
> The chapter will be cut into two parts because it would have been too long and I am too tired to write the rest of it.  
> Maybe I will be able to post it tomorrow.

“Oh look, who’s finally here? The scarhead, blood traitor and the know-it-all!”, Malfoy sneered.

“Fuck off Malfoy”, Ron cursed right back.

“Shut up Malfoy”, retorted Harry.

Hermione just sighed, rolled with her eyes and told them: “You three are just so insufferable. One can hardly think that you’re actually friends.”

“ _Friends_?! Me with a bunch of goody-two-shoes Gryffindor? Never!”, Draco replied shocked. To emphasize his statement, he sneered at them.

“As if I’d be friends with a stuck-up prat like you!”

Ron and Draco glared at each other. The tension seemed to rise higher and higher but then the two of them started to laugh, lightheartedly.

“Don’t misunderstand me. I might help you and tolerate the Golden trio somewhat but don’t think of us as something sentimental as friends. We’re allies. At best.”

Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes. That was just typical Malfoy behavior.

“Yeah, yeah whatever. We’ll just accept this just so that we don’t hurt your little Slytherin pride. Never should someone ever think that the great Malfoy heir is friends with Gryffindors. And also don’t call us Golden trio! That’s just weird!”

Draco starred at Harry and smirked. It had always been extremely easy to rile up Potter. There was no way he would stop. It was also a good way to relieve stress.

“The Golden boy does not approve of my choice of words? Oh my, how can I live if he resents me! I will live in such a shame!”

Hermione sighed. Sometimes, these three are just some annoying gits. Before Ron or Harry could continue their dispute, Hermione interrupted them. 

“Please guys. We have no time for this. You can fight or deepen your bond at another time. I've got the feeling that Draco brought us here to tell us something important, didn't you?”

“Urgh, Granger. Don’t call me by my first name. Gives me the shivers. And also I didn't really ask you to come, Potter, here, has a weird fixation with me. Not that I can’t understand him. A specimen like _me_ , just appears once every 100 years, if the world is lucky. Who could blame Potter with obsessing over me. Even if it's creepy and invasive.”

“You wish, ferret”, scoffed Ron and rolled with his eyes but even he could not suppress a smile at Malfoy's antics.

It had needed some time but the four of them were now something akin to friends. Not mere allies like Draco stated. He just said these things because of his pride as a Slytherin and Malfoy. Someone like him was not really supposed to be friends with Gryffindors, the archenemies of Slytherin, and especially not the Golden Trio itself. Even though the three Gryffindors had seen more and more of his real personality, there were some parts of his old front that surfaced from time to time but they were also parts of his true self. Something that he apparently had not shown many people, since he had not many if any close friends. Many aspects that defined Draco Malfoy remained in secret. And without these parts, Draco would not be Draco. Out of the three Gryffindors only Hermione used his first name and than only when they were alone. So that no one would become suspiscious. If she suddenly started to call him by his first name at every encouter outside this group, students, especially Slytherins, would grow suspicious that something was off. They had to put up this charade so that no one dangerous, especially students from Slytherin would become suspicious of their relationship. They could not afford to have their cover blown. Especially Draco. This might get him into serious trouble, maybe even life-threatening ones. They had to prevent this with all their might.

Everything had started when Draco had joined their secret meetings of Dumbledore’s Army. It needed some time, discussions, fights and some more fights to convince Harry, Ron and the other members that blond Slytherin was on their side. And that he was harmless. He was not only on their side, but he also acted as a spy. He provided them with inside information to help their cause. This was a risk he took on by offering it himself. Since he had been a member of the Inquisitorial Squad they acquired some  information about what was going on or will most likely happen; if something was up, Draco could mislead Umbridge and the other members of the squad so that Dumbledore’s Army remained secret from everyone that was not directly involved in it. He was not able to join every mission; therefore he did not take part in the mission to the Ministry. But he warned them that Sirius was in no danger but the main point was to get a prophecy involving the Dark Lord and the Boy who lived.. Only Harry, Ron and Hermione were aware of Draco's status as a spy, the other member of D.A. thought of him as a typical member, even if they did not fully trust him unlike the Golden Trio. The three Gryffindors had only choosen people into the D.A. that they could trust. With whom they knew that they would not talk about anything that happened inside the D.A. They had to ensure that no one would be talking about Draco's involvement. The other members did not trust Draco, but they did with Hermione, Harry and Ron. If these three who had always been the main victims of Malfoy's bullying could trust him and let him join their order, they would not say anything. They trusted these three Gryffindors. They were the ones who were always the main target in Voldemort's scheming. They would know who to trust and who not. Despite this, they remained rather suspicious and cautious of the Slytherin. Better safe than sorry. They might not befriend him but they did not really think that he would go on a killing spree. Malfoy was mostly seen as a coward that hid behind his father's name. He was not someone who would openly try to kill them or any muggles. He saw himself as superior to them but he would not actively try to harm them in a permanent way. Maybe insult them, but that's it. They would keep their distance to him and see how everything will turn out. Therefore, the Golden Trio were the only members that he had actually interacted and built trust with.

After the Triwizard tournament, the resurrection and rise of Voldemort, Draco saw how truly evil the Dark Lord was. He tortured muggles as a hobby in his childhood home. He cruciod, cut them and let them bleed. And if he was bored of their cries of terror, he would finally kill them. He did these things as a way to pass time. As if it was something trival as reading a book. He tortured for sport. And listened to their cries as if he was listening to some relaxing classical music. He was simply a monster. But the worst is that not only him was like that. Some of his fellow Death Eaters did the same. As if they wanted to emulate him. As if what he did was something worth striving for. Her aunt Bellatrix and the werewolf Greyback were the worst of the pack. They laughed while doing so. As if it brought them the highest level of happiness and satisfication. They were just as monstrous as their master. Voldemort thought of hurting other people as something amusing. It was simply sickening. But he did not stop at muggles. If someone could not do their assigned task to his satisfication, they will most likely be punished severly. They will be tortured also. But sometimes, he just attacked his fellowers without any valid reason. This happened to one of the lesser followers. The Dark Lord thought that he had looked towards him in a strange way, so he simply killed him while walking pass him. He killed him with the famous killing spell, Avada Kedavra. Simply because he felt like it. He killed someone on a whim. This opened Draco's eyes. He could not let these monsters win. He would destroy the balance between the magic and the muggle word. He would bring chaos to both worlds. He could not let this happen. He could not let his mother and father live in such a world. No one should. This was just wrong. Especially since his father had not been able to carry out his assigned task. He was somewhat safe in Azkaban but who knew for how long. How would he react if he was finally released? Would the Dark Lord start punishing his mother? There was no way, he could let this happen. He had to protect them. But he was not powerful enough for that. He could only do so, if there was no Voldemort. And to openly oppose him, would mean death to his parents. He could only fight against him, if he was a spy. And there was no way that his aunt would protect her family, nor her sister. She follows every command her master gives her. She would even kill them if he commands so. They were in no way safe.

 

“Enough!”, Hermione stated energetic, and interrupted Draco's flow of thoughts, “this is the first time we're meeting since the Christmas break. Just shut up!”

Silence followed. Hermione sighed, again, and started to massage her temples. She was starting to get a headache with all this bickering. 

And then suddenly,  Myrtle popped out of nowhere.

“Hello~. Oh my, who’s visiting my bathroom? If it isn’t Harry Potter, Weasley and- oh! Hello Draco”, she chuckled and watched the blond star-strucked. She tried to smooth down her hair. If she was still alive, her cheeks would be covered in a blush. But since she was no longer alive, no blood pumped through her veins.

The Malfoy heir grinned.

“Hello Myrtle. It is really nice to see you. I am so sorry that I haven't visted you. I have just been so busy that I had no time to visit you. And a lady such as you deserves all the time one gentleman has. But if you were so nice could I ask you to do me a favour? Could you watch so that no one gets in here while we’re here? I would be most grateful, if could do so.”

“Sure, everything for you Draaaaco”, she dreamly sung and vanished from their view.

“Urgh. How do you get Myrtle to do what you want?”, Ron asked.

Draco smirked. To emphasize his statement, he put his right arm on his hip and grinned to them.

“Just my natural charms. Don’t act as if you’re not affected by them. Respression is not a nice look on you, Weasley."

“You wish”, Ron mumbled.

Harry and Hermione just rolled with their eyes. This squabbling was nothing new. Just a new aspect in the new-founded relationship between Ron and Draco that developed over time in which they become closer. Especially these two had grown kind of close, their closeness expressed itself by teasing each other.

“So that Granger doesn't throw a fit, I’ll get started. But first, I’ve got to congratulate you on your acting. Even if Potter’s stalking is kind of creepy. But no Slytherin seems to be suspicious. This is a good sign. But enough with the good news. Potter did you get something out of Slughorn?”

“Yeah. It seemed that Voldemort was interested in creating Horcruxes.”

The other three teenagers flinched at the careless mention of the Dark Lord’s name.

“You shouldn’t call that name. It’s probable that he might put a location spell on it. Especially if you’re not in Hogwarts. And I’ve read some things about a Horcrux. But no one ever survived it to tell the tale of it, as far as I know. But to really split your soul into pieces. Fuck, he is really mad…”

“Wow, things really have turned serious if Malfoy starts to curse”, Ron noticed.

“That’s the only thing you get out of this, Weasley? There might- no _will_ be a freakin’ war. This madman does not care about sacrificing anyone in order to achieve his goal. He fucking split his soul into pieces just so he could live on and will not be defeated if you just kill his body. And you just get that I'm cursing?!?”

Draco closed his eyes, breathe deeply to calm himself and to stop shaking. He had to surpress his rage. Here, he was risking his life and Weasley only cares about him cursing. There were lives at stake! And Weasley was joking! Was everything just a funny joke for him?!

To his surprise, Ron looked embrassed. Good. He can feel remorse for his stupid comment, was all Draco was thinking. He was not sorry for acting out and getting loud.

“Do you have any ideas about what these objects can be? Have you seen Dumbledore?”

Harry simply nodded.

“Yeah. And he thinks that he divided his soul into seven pieces. So that there are six Horcruxes. But two are already destroyed. One was the diary in second year and Dumbledore has a ring.”

“Wow only four more to go”, Draco exclaimed sarcastically, “And no wonder he split his soul into seven pieces. It’s a magical number and  would strengthen the magic inside the objects. So, we only have to find out what other objects he used. Must be a piece of cake for the Golden Trio.”

“Don't call us that. Dumbledore has an idea where another one might be. I am supposed to meet him later.”

“Alone?”, Hermione asked while frowning.

Harry just nodded.

“Brilliant. But there is still more to come. Things have changed. Drastically. The situation in Hogwarts is going to escalate shortly.”

“What do you mean?”, Ron wanted to know.

“I…. I haven’t told you everything that happened over the break.”

“What? What do you mean!?”, Harry asked rather restless.

Hermione send Harry a dark look. She did not want for Draco to feel threatened.

“Things may not be as easy as you think, Harry. He’s between two sides.  But Draco remember, you can trust us. And if things become too dire, Dumbledore can protect you.”

 Draco scoffed. 

“If I wanted Dumbledore to protect me, I would have already gone to him. But I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”, Ron asked.

“Think, Weasley. What’s gonna happen to my parents if I just leave?”

No one said anything for some time. They were all too aware to what Voldemort is capable of. Harry was the best example for it. He had already lost his parents to this man.

Draco breathed deeply, trying to calm himself.

“ I have to clear something up to you, because I think you have a misconception about me. I am not doing this whole spy thing because I suddenly became good or whatever. You cannot really think I just turned into a Hufflepuff or whatever.

Everything I do, I do it to protect my world and family.

Do I think myself better than everyone? Yeah, sure I do.

Do I still think muggles are less? Yeah.

Do I think that pure blood wizards are better than half-blood or muggleborn wizards? Yeah.”

Before the Golden Trio could reply furiously, Draco went on, he did not want to be interrupted:

“Do I think every muggle, muggleborn or half-blood wizard has to die? Hell, no. What do I care how muggles live their lives or who fucks whom and procreates. I sure as hell do not. This freaking madman wants to kill everyone who stands in his way. And he wants to bring chaos into the magic and muggle world. He wants to destroy the balance and the world I love. Of course, I will stand in his way. But not because of what you or your light side thinks. The world isn’t black or white. Accept that.”

For a few seconds, no one said anything. You could only hear the heavy breathing of the Malfoy heir. His blood was filled with adrenaline.

“You… Well you’re intitled to your opinion. And I mean… we have more important things to do than to debate our political views on the world. We have a common enemy who we want to defeat. That’s what counts now”, Hermione stated. She was not that sure what to think about Malfoy's statement.

Draco had somewhat settled down. He grinned.

“Well said, Granger. There seems to be something in that brain of yours, other than school work.”

“Man Malfoy. You just always freaking have to be a prat. No matter what you say or do. You’re prat and a git.”

The blond just smirked. "I just never want to dissapoint your view on me."

Harry was not really fine with Draco's statement, but he could see that it was not the time to talk about such things. They hardly had any time left, before people would be wondering where they were. After all the help Draco did last year, he was sure he could trust him, to a certain extent. They had become something akin to friends. After the war is over, they had all the time to talk about things like pureblood-superiority. Just not now.

“Is there something else you wanted to tell us? What happened over the break?”

Draco’s look shifted. He stepped from one foot to the other. He could not look any of the three in the eyes. He put a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Harry was not the only one who noticed that Malfoy was nervous. Too nervous. Whatever he was going to say, won't be anything good.

“I…”, croaked Draco, “I was _marked_.”


	3. Discussions in the girls' bathroom Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone who read the last chapters and left kudos. Also thank you for the nice comments. I won't answer question about the pairings in the comments, but the tagged relationships will come up and there will be a one-sided one. I only have a general idea how this fic will turn out. I have some key situations in my mind, but they will need some time till they are coming up. The next chapter will most likely be a POV from Draco's.  
> Enjoy the chapter ;)

“I…”, croaked Draco, “I was  _marked_.”

Suddenly, the bathroom was engulfed in silence.  For a few minutes, no one was responding to Draco's statement. The longer the silence continued on, the bigger the lump in Draco’s throat grew. He felt like that he was unable to react to his own statement. He starred at his feet. He could see that no one was ever cleaning the bathroom. The floor was wet and dirty as were his shoes now. Had it been a few years ago, he would have gone crazy and complained non-stop about his dirty shoes. But now he knew that there were more important things to handle than the status of his shoes. After a few minutes, no one had said anything, Draco lifted his eyes towards the Golden trio. He was quite afraid what their reaction would be, what emotions would be displayed on their faces. Disgust? Hate? Loathing? Maybe even pity that he finally turned fully evil, into a true Death Eater? As he looked at their faces, he saw that Hermione looked shocked, Ron’s look was one of disgust and Harry sent him a look full of anger. He was quite startled about Potter's intensity of anger. He expected negative reaction but not to this degree. Did his hate from the previous year return in a more intense way now that he finally proved that he was just like his father, a Death Eater, a follower of his parents' murderer?

 

Draco was ready to get looks of anger and shock. To get shouted at. Anything. But this silence made him nervous. And Potter's and Weasley's look hurt him quite a bit. More than he expected. Had they grown more on him than he had actually realized? Did they really think so little of him? Did he disgust them so much? Will they cut him off? Will they tell everyone of his double life? If they really did the last option, everything would have been in vain. Everything he did and sacrificed would be futile. His life would be in danger and in correlation that of his parents. He had to do anything to prevent such happenings. In the worst scenario, he had to obliviate the trio. No, that would not work out very well. The other member of the D.A. had seen him in the meetings. It would not have been that far fetched that he had been a spy. And he could not simply go aroung Hogwarts and obliviate nearly half the students from his school year. Most of these people knew that he was somewhat part of the light side but were still highly suspicious of him and were only waiting for him to take the wrong step so that they could finally convince Harry, Hermione and Ron that everything was just a plan to get close to them to simply deliver them to the Dark Lord and his underlings. No, he would just obliviate his self. He might be able to just selectively erase the memories of his missions as a spy. He had to do some research, but he was confident in his skills that he would be fully able to do this without damaging his mind. So that if it came to worse and one of the Death Eaters got to know about his activities on the light side and he was forced to undergo a mental inspection, would be tested or interrogated under Veritaserum; without these memories there was no way for them to declare him a traitor. Maybe he would write down what had happened, so that even if he had no memories of these acts, that he was still aware of his true self. That he had not betrayed his true feelings, simply that fate had not been on his side. But if it came to this scenario, he better leaves some clues so that only he would be able to  read them after things had calmed down and he would no longer be suspected as a traitor to the dark side. His aunt Bella will most likely be the first one, to interrogate him. She loved torturing and hurting people, her nephew was hardly an exception. So, he better hurry. Now that he thinks about it, once as a little child, he had  found  a pensieve in the manor, it had been in one of the forbidden rooms. It might be better to excavate the memories, so that he could view them later on. And then…

 

His chain of thought was interrupted by an angry Harry.

“What the fuck do you mean that you’re marked?!”

“What do you think, Potter.”

“I think that you’re a little Death Eater, Malfoy”, Ron spat furiously.

“Ron!”, exclaimed Hermione.

 

Harry walked with fast steps towards Draco, took his left arm, raised his sleeve up only to truly and unmistakably reveal a dark mark. A disgusting black flaw on the pale skin of Draco Malfoy. A blemish that will be on his skin, forever.

 

Draco snatched his arm away from Potter.

“Satisfied?!”, shouted Draco who was definitely starting to get angry.

“Did you get us here to tell us that you’re fully on the dark side?”, wanted Ron to know.

“What do you think, Weasel?”, Draco snarled.

 

Before the fight could turn physical, Harry just asked a simple question: “Why? Why did you do this, Draco? I thought that you...”

 

It was extremely rare to have Potter call him by his first name. And this time it was not spoken in rage. He truly wanted to know the truth. About what made him do it. What made him let marked. Harry had after all thought that there was something connecting the four of them. Some kind of bond, a relationship, a friendship.

 

“Well think some more, Potter. This madman lives in my house! There was no real option. Especially since my father failed to get the prophecy and is now in Azkaban. It was a punishment. And a threat so that I do better than my father!”

“You could have owled one us. You could have fled to Grimmauld Place!”, Harry exclaimed frustrated.

Draco snorted ungentlemanlike: “You really think I had any choice in this matter? If I had fled, what about my mother?”

“Just take her with you!”, shouted Ron.

 

Draco just send him a dark look. “Do you really think that if there was any other choice than taking this hideous mark, I wouldn’t have done that?”

No one spoke. They were not sure what to think. The situation was after all rather ambiguous. 

Draco laughed humourlessly. “It’s really nice to finally see what you three really think of me even after everything I have done for you pricks. Did I ask for anything but your trust in return? No, I didn’t. And look where it got me. This damn mark, somewhere in the line of fire with no one to turn to. No really, my life couldn't be any better. It’s not as if this freaking spy business is any easier. I always have to worry if I haven't  blown my cover and might get crucioed until I die.”

 

Hermione took one step towards him and spoke in a soft voice: “Draco.”

Draco just looked to her angrily. “No fucking ‘Draco’ business. There was no choice. If I had fled my mother would have been tortured or killed and I might have gotten her head as a present. She would under no circumstances betray the Dark Lord; because my father is loyal to this psycho for whatever braindead reason. And my aunt is totally obsessed with him. If I had knocked out my mother and took her with me to Grimmauld Place, my father wouldn't have been safe in Azkaban. He would be killed. Instantly and not in a fast way. And my aunt would made it her personal vendetta to hunt us down and to bring us to the Dark Lord. And I'm sorry but I don’t want my mother or father to get killed. I am that seflish. Sorry. And I know that you think my father is the worst scum on earth, but he is my father and I love him. He raised me, loved me in his own way, gave me my first broom and taught me how to fly, comforted me when my first pet crup die. And my mother was always there for me and played with me in the gardens of the manor. These are my parents who I truly love from the bottom of my heart. I’d do anything for them. They are the reason I am a spy. I don’t want them to degenerate to some mindless slave of a psychotic wizard who thinks that he’s above everyone even though he is the worst being alive. This thing is no human. And you have absolutely no idea what my aunt is capable of. She was once a somewhat decent human being but not so anymore. Ever since she got obsessed with the Dark Lord, she turned into something bad, something evil and cruel. There is no pure black or white side in this war or in life. And you better accept it, or our alliance is over!”

 

This rant was, once again,  followed with silence.

Hermione was the first one to raise her voice again. “I am sorry that you have to go through all that.”

Draco just nodded. After this emotional outburst he did not think that he could take much more. He felt empty.

Ron looked stunned and said: “I… I did not really think that you have to go through all this stuff. That you have to think through every step that you take. I...”

“Malfoy, I…”, Harry started, cleared his throat, “I am sorry. I understand that you want to save your family but there might come a time in which you have to choose. So, you better prepare yourself. I don’t really want your parents to die. I might not like your father, but I don’t wish him dead. I only want to have this thing with You-know-who over, so that I could just enjoy a normal life.”

Draco laughed. “Sorry to disappoint you Potter but you will never have a normal life.”

Harry just rolled his eyes.

 

Hermione cleared her throat. “Did you just wanted us to know of your mark? Or did something else happen?”

“You never disappoint Granger. There are two things. Firstly, we don’t have much time; Death Eater’s will come and invade Hogwarts in two days. I could not push the timing anymore back. You better warn the students and get them out of Hogwarts, especially Muggleborns and Half-bloods. Greyback and others will come. It was my mission to get them in. And  secondly, to kill Dumbledore.”

“WHAT! KILL DUMBLEDORE?!”, the Golden Trio shouted.

Draco snorted. “Don’t worry, I won’t kill him. I don’t know why the Dark Lord appointed me this mission. There is no way I would be able to defeat a powerful wizard such as Dumbledore. I have no idea how he thought that might work out.”

“But aren’t you in trouble if you can’t do it?”, Hermione wanted to know.

Draco shrugged. “Somewhat, but in no deep trouble. I might have to spend a few days in the dungeons in the Manor or something like that. He would not hurt me too much. He needs me for something.”

Draco shuddered as he remembered his last visit of Voldemort.

“Something?”, Harry wanted to know.

“Don’t worry, I won’t do it. I still have time till he wants it accomplished. He wouldn’t start it after the war is over and as for that time, I hope it ends with his death so nothing to worry about. But enough of that talk, after the Death Eaters invade Hogwarts, things will change. You three get better out of Hogwarts and look for the Horcruxes. The war won’t be far away. I, most likely, won’t attend Hogwarts and have to stay in the Manor. I will try to communicate with you with the help of these enchanted notebooks. I will have one and you three will have one. The message will be erased if the one who’s the message was intended to reads it. And only the one who was intended to read the message will be able to see it. You just have to check it regularly if I contacted you. If you want to write me a message, only do it in an emergency. It’s not like these are absolutely fail-safe. There are some spells that might let someone read an unread message. The one’s that have been read will be erased so no worries about these.”

 

Draco handed Harry a notebook with a brownish leather jacket. It looked ordinary, totally inconspicuous.

“We better, leave now. We were here already for too long”, Draco explained.

Before he could leave the bathroom, Harry gripped his arm to prevent him from leaving.

“Be careful and good luck, Malfoy.”

Draco grinned. “Don’t worry, the ones who need luck are you. I am the stealthiest person alive and my charms get me out of any situation.”

 After he left the room, Ron rolled his eyes. “What ever he does, he stays a git.”

“Ron”, hissed Hermione.

“What?”, Ron wanted to know.

Harry just chuckled at the antics of his friends. He truly hoped that everything would end up well. That he would finally get his normal life. Not only with Ron and Hermione, but also with Draco and the rest of Hogwarts. But deep down he knew that not everyone would survive the war. Life was not that good.

 

 

 

                   


	4. Draco Lyra Malfoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's still alive? Right! Me!! But I did warn you that there won't be regular update schedule.  
> Thanks a lot for all these kudos and nice comments.  
> Enjoy the chapter"

After the confrontation, discussion, planning or whatever you may call it, Draco went straight towards the dungeons. Right to his room that he shared with some other Slytherin students of his year. He went to bed, pulled the curtains around his bed close and put a charm on them so no one from the outside would be albe to open them without him noticing. He wouldn’t need any more measures to ensure that no one would bother him. The other students hardly approach him, because since Christmas he hardly talked to anyone and if he did it was not in a good manner. He was way too stressed out to have some nice talking. And he especially had no desire to discuss some gossip. It was a crucial time for him, his and his family’s future. He would love to talk to someone and share his worries. But who could he ask?

He had no one to share all his worries with. There were some fellow Slytherin classmates. Some are his somewhat friends. It was hard to differentiate between real and unreal friends or rather acquaintances. He knew some of them for many years. Especially Pansy, Theo and Blaise. But no one of them knew the real truth. His true identity. His real self.

That he was actually a she. That Draco Lucius Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy family was legitimately no male heir but a female one and therefore no real heir. Her real name is Draco Lyra Malfoy. Only four people knew the truth about her real gender. Draco herself, of course, Lucius, Narcissa and the midwife. After the baby was born, the midwife was forced into an unbreakable vow. She was to tell no one that Draco was actually a girl. According to all papers, Draco was a boy. And is to lead the Malfoy family. Lucius was extremely mad after he got to know that his heir was a girl. But the first time he held his daughter in his arms, he fell in love. It was true that he wished for a son but when his daughters opened her eyes for the first time and he saw her grey eyes watching his face and did something that seemed like a giggle, it was done. He would protect his daughter, even if did kill him.

Narcissa herself did  not care that her child was a girl. She had had always the felling while being pregnant that the child in her womb was a girl and not a boy as what the midwife and healer had claimed. Draco Lyra Malfoy would be her only living child. Before getting pregnant with Draco, Narcissa had two miscarriages. She swore to herself as she was pregnant for the third time, it was the last one. She would not be able to survive any other death of her children. But as she heard the first cries of her child, she knew that she finally got her living child as she wished. She would do everything in her capabilities to protect her from this world that might come to harm her. The healer that took care of Narcissa after the birth told her that it was a miracle that she even git pregnant again and that she would not be able to be with child again. But that would not matter. She had her Draco, and this was all she needed.

Shortly after the birth Narcissa and Lucius decided that it was best to pretend that their child was a boy. They put some glamours on her to convince everyone that she was a boy. They would raise her as if she was the male heir. They did this because Lucius’ father, Abraxas. Who knew what he would have done to their child if he knew the truth. Since Abraxas was still the Malfoy patriarch, they would not be able to protect their daughter if he decided to raise her himself and knew what she would have to go through. Lucius himself knew exactly what a cruel man his father was. His little daughter would not be able to survive this without damaging her. He wanted his daughter to be raised by her parents so that they could protect her. It was even possible that he might have engaged her to some old even crueller man and forced her to marry when she was just 16 years old. So that her possible husband would be the true male heir to the Malfoy family. Abraxas would not accept a female heir. Since the Blacks were a powerful family, a divorce between Narcissa and Lucius would not be possible without initiating a blood war between the families. Lucius wanted to prevent this. Despite of this marriage being an arranged one, he came to truly love his wife and she him. This was a happy marriage that was only completed by the arrival of his daughter.

After Abraxas died, and Lucius became the Malfoy patriarch it was already too late to change their decision. Draco was already introduced as a male into the Pureblood society. There was no possibility to change their decision without creating a scandal and making Draco’s life more complicated before entering Hogwarts. They could have moved to France and let her attend Beauxbaton, but their life was here in Britain not somewhere else. Especially since for years there some rumours that the Dark Lord might be coming back. How could they have explained that the Malfoy family fled England. There were no ways out of this fellowship since Lucius was already marked. Voldemort would most likely kill the whole family and therefore erase two important Pureblood families. The Blacks and Malfoys. They talked with Draco about this. And Draco refused to flee. She would live her life as a man. She did not really care for anything else. But she wanted her family to be whole and happy. They could never do this if they fled to France and abandon everything and everyone. If the Dark Lord came back, he would go after those who betrayed him. And that would be her family. If she had to sacrifice her true identity, so be it. She would happily sacrifice it, if it meant that her family would be alive. It was not so bad since she didn’t really know how to behave and live like a girl. She has always been raised and behaved like a Pureblood boy.

Draco sighed. The plan her parents had was not fool-proof. The Dark Lord had noticed that something was off by her. The glamours had most likely flickered when she received the mark since it was possible that they altered her magical signature. After receiving the mark, she was huddled on the floor with pain. She would never be able o forget this kind of pain. It felt like being stabbed a hundred times while being burned alive. Nothing could be more painful. But to protect her family she would always get the mark.

 

Before she was able to leave the room in which she got the mark, Voldemort had called her to him while everyone was ordered to leave the room.

“There is something special about you, young Malfoy.”

“My lord?”, Draco shake. Not only because of the pain of the mark but also out of fear. It never meant something positive when the Dark Lord wanted to talk to you alone.

“Something is off about your magical signature…. As….if your hiding something from me.”

She had stiffed in the moment. And immediately regretted it. He would now know that something was off. Since she didn’t dare to look up, she had not seen that the Dark Lord had smiled cruelly.    

“…I….I….”

Voldemort chuckled. “Nevertheless, now is not the time to talk about it. Everyone has their little secrets. But there is something I had been thinking about. An heir.”

“An… An heir, my lord?”

“Yes… And I think you, young Malfoy, will help me with this.”

“I… But how my lord?”

Voldemort chuckled.

“Your aunt offered herself, but she is not worthy of any child of mine. Especially since she is already married and not after all a bit… mad. She is sufficient enough as a soldier but nothing more. I want my consort to have my child. She would be mine and nobody else’s. We would create the new generation of Pureblood wizards. A new era. But this will happen only after Potter is dead and the Order has fallen. My consort would be someone from a powerful family. And it would be her greatest honour to carry my child, don’t you agree, Draco?”

“Y…Yes my lord.”

Voldemort had smiled at her answer. “Tell me Draco, what families are united in your blood.”

Draco had swallowed heavily. “Malfoy and Black.”

“One of the oldest and most powerful families, aren’t they?”

Draco had to supress not to break out in trembling and tears. “Y…Yes my lord.”

“Interesting, isn’t it”, Voldemort chuckled again, “You are excused, young Malfoy, and don’t forget your task.”

“O-O-Of course not my lord.”

She had quickly exited the room and ran into her room while panicky thinking “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He knows. Fuck!”.

She had needed the whole night to calm down and to cry. The Dark Lord wanted an heir. A Pureblood heir. Form her. Potter had better kill this bastard fast. There was no way she would carry this thing’s child. She had decided against talking her parents. They would probably send her underground and she would have needed to flee her whole life. And her parents would be killed and all the work for Order would be in vain. There was no way she could escape the Dark Lord. He would send some Death Eaters after her, at worst Fenrir.

 

Draco shake her head. And brought her memories back to the present. She noticed that there were tears flowing down her cheeks and she was shaking. It would be nice to have a friend to talk to. But there was no one. No one could help her. Her Slytherin friends would not, especially since she worked for the Order, the light side. They would think that she had betrayed them and their upbringings. And who knows what the Golden Trio, especially Potter, would do if they knew the truth, the whole truth.

She tried to calm herself by thinking of nice and happy thoughts. Playing tea time with her mother as a child. Her first flying session with her father and him praising her for her magic skills. Suddenly she remembered the one time she helped a large black bird. While , as a child, playing on the grounds of Manor, she had heard something from the trees. She had walked towards them and on the ground laid a big large bird. At first, she had thought that it was a crow but the nearer she got, she noticed that it looked a bit different. The feathers of bird were black but was smaller than a crow. The beak was also different, it was rounded like of a parrot. And the tail had some red patches. When she was close to the bird, she saw that his wing was injured. She talked softly to bird, encouraging that she would not hurt him but trying to help him. At first, it had tried to attack her but after some time it had let her pet him and even went to her lap. She brought the bird in her room and with the help of Dobby, she nursed the bird back to health. Luckily, the wing was not broken. And she gave him the name “Ruby” for the red tail feathers. Ruby lived only a short time with her, but they had greatly bonded. Her parents never found out since she forced Dobby never to talk about him. But even though she was a child, she let him, she always assumed the bird was a boy, she knew that he might miss his home. When she knew that her parents were out, she took Ruby to the gardens in the manor and set him free. He didn’t want to leave at first. But she talked long to him by saying that his family must miss him and he them, but he could always visit her since they were friends. And friends are always there for each other.

Draco smiled at the memory. She could have sworn that she had seen him, this winter while visiting the Manor. But no bird ever came near her. But she was not sure, if she remembers correctly. Because she once researched in the library after this particular bird breed. And weirdly enough she found him. The bird’s breed is called glossy black cockatoo. And is only found in Australia. How could a bird like that end up in Britain? And she never thought of asking Dobby, since he did not really have good memory. This was mostly a secret she will most likely never know the truth of.

 


	5. Battle of the Astronomy Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE
> 
> I've decided to remove the pairing Ron/Draco. I thought about how the story will be developing and somehow there won't be much interaction between Draco and Ron in the near future. I decided for another pairing with Draco that will take place. I might decide to add a bit Draco/Ron later on, but not at the moment. I am sorry, if you don't like it and only started to read this story because of Ron/Draco.   
> Originally, I wanted to write the story because of a certain scene that I thought of. And it will be some time for this scene to occur. To warn you, this story will not end with the Battle of Hogwarts. I was even thinking of starting this story with the Battle of Hogwarts; but to develop the plot and characters, I thought it best to start it a bit earlier. I will add the pairings as they occur in the story as to not to spoil too much. And don't worry the end pairing, with whom Draco will end up is not yet decided. Especially since a few OC will come into play and influence the story. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you still enjoy the story.

The infiltration of the Death Eaters had begun. There was no way around it. She could not prevent it from happening. But she tried to minimize any accidents or any kind of assault as much as possible. She had warned Potter and the rest of the Golden Trio around which time the Vanishing Cabinet would be repaired, so that the Death Eaters would be passing through. She did not want any helpless first-years or any other students to be injured or at worst killed. Slytherins were rather safe but Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors would be in graver danger than any other students since these houses often had muggleborns or halfbloods in them. They were number one on their hit list.

As the Death Eaters entered, she knew that there will not be many of them. They were only instructed to create chaos in Hogwarts. This was no real effort to terrorize the school. Not in such a manner that they hunt all non-pureblood students. They were to only gain access, so that they might get Dumbledore in an unexpected fashion. And she, Draco, was to kill him. Even though she would not be able to do that. She had no time to develop any plan if it came to worst scenario. If she openly refused, she would be in great danger and therefore her family. But there was no possibility that she would be able to kill someone. She was no murderer.

She was not to know which Death Eaters would be entering Hogwarts. Her father was still in Azkaban, so he would be not here. And as far as she knew her mother never got the mark. And she had never been part in any such a raiding, she did not belong to his closer circle of fellowers. That had always been only her husband. It was most probable that the Death Eaters entering Hogwarts were rather strong wizards.

Hogwarts was, later on, infiltrated by the Carrow’s siblings, Yaxley, her aunt Bellatrix, and to her surprise and shock Fenrir Greyback and some lower Death Eaters whose name she did not know. The number of Death Eaters were lower then ten. Around seven or eight followers of Voldemorts. She tried to keep a distance to the werewolf. He was unpredictable, cruel and violent. He was someone you ought to be careful of. Since she knew that the Dark Lord had rather sinister plans with her, she was not free of any punishment should she fail, but there was no way that he would let Greyback bite her and therefore change her permanently. Nevertheless,  the werewolf was known not to always listen to the Dark Lord. And he was, after all, an important and powerful ally and might most likely be forgiven for any kind of lapse in action. She was in no way safe. She tried to evade them and get lost in the Hogwarts mob. She even thought of trying to provoke a higher year student into a confrontation in which she would be attacked and would therefore be prevented into entering Dumbledore’s office. But luck was not on her side. She should have tried to brew Felix Felicis. She was a prodigy in potions even without Snape’s favouritism. But this was only fleeting thought in her panicking state.

Her aunt forced her towards Dumbledore’s location. The Astronomy Tower. She had no escape route.

There she was. In the Astronomy Tower. Together with her aunt. And Snape. He was, so it seemed, a Death Eater after all. She was never sure concerning his loyalties. He might be a close friend to her family but he did keep to himself and rarely talked about himself. She knew him since she was little, and if she had been born a boy he might have been her godfather. He was something akin to an uncle to her. But there was no way she could trust him more than her parents with her secrets and her identity as a spy. Especially since he hated Potter so much. If the Dark Lord did not want the Golden boy dead, Draco was sure that Snape might look for a reason to kill him off or at least cripple him permanently. There was no way he would let him live in peace. This hate of him run too deep.

“Ah. Draco Malfoy, my dear student”, Dumbledore greeted them, “and Snape my friend. And not to forget the lovely Lestrange lady.”

“Shut up!”, Bellatrix hissed.

Snape did not answer and did not show any kind of emotion. What was she to do?

“H—Headmaster”, Draco croaked.

She began to shiver. There was no way she could do it. She was _no_ murderer. She would not be able to cast the killing curse. Even if the spell left her lips, it would not be effective. A spell without any intention was useless. As useless as she felt now.

Dumbledore smiled knowingly.

“I… I was ordered to kill you, Headmaster”

“I know.”

Bellatrix laughed cruelly. She pushed her niece rather roughly towards the old wizard.

“Do it Draco. Do your duty to our lord”, Bellatrix agitated in a hysterical voice.  

Draco closed her eyes. She breathed in and out. Her breath was uneven.

She opened her eyes. Slowly she lifted her wand.

For her family. For her parents. For her future and theirs. For her comerades. If she failed know everything would be in vain. The fight had just begun. All these horcruxes were still somewhere around and had to be found and destroyed. There was no way they could defeat the Dark Lord now. But without Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard alive, the light side had no chance in winning. Potter was just a teenage boy. What could he do against a powerful dark wizard, such as Voldemort?

But if she did this now, and there is also the question how should she best or rather kill a powerful wizard such as Dumbledore. There was no way. If she killed him, she would be no better than any Death Eater. There would be no way back. She would be killer and a traitor. Every danger she had survived until now would be in vain. 

She was no murderer. She could not do it.

Bellatrix laughed. “Do it, do it, do it, do it”, her aunt repeated her mantra. It seemed like she was trying to spell her niece into killing this old man.

Draco’s wand arm shivered heavily.

Draco was not able to supress the sob. “I can’t.”

Bellatrix shouted in agony and drilled her wand into Draco’s back. She twitched in pain. Her aunt was furious.

“You had better do it, nephew. You know that your father already betrayed our lord. And you’re to right his wrong. You won’t just end up in Azkaban. Do it, you weakling!”

Draco’s shivering intensified. There was no way she could do it.

Why did everything go so wrong? She just hoped to wake up. This had to be a bad dream. Nothing else could be possible.

But suddenly, it seemed like all hell broke loose. A sudden light exploded in the tower and Draco found herself on the floor. She had crashed into a wall. It seemed like the work of a shock wave according to the destroyed stuff in the Astronomy Tower. A fight had begun between Bellatrix, Snape and Dumbledore.

Draco tried to get on her feet. Everything hurt. Especially her right side. She hoped that she had not broken any rib. She groaned and with shivering feet she was able to stand up. She had to support herself on the wall. She looked for her wand. It laid on the floor just a few metres away from her. With shivering feet and pain in her whole body, she got to it and watched the fight. With alarming eyes, she detected that her aunt was losing. How was this possible. Snape was somewhere behind her on the floor and was about to stand up himself.

She knew that Dumbledore was a powerful wizard, but to so easily trump his aunt. How was this possible? The mighty wizard stood before enormous windows. Her aunt had lost her wand to Dumbledore. Would he kill her? Unconsciously, Draco lifted her wand towards Dumbledore and said the words that changed the battle rapidly “Expelliarmus.”

And there stood Dumbledore. Wandless. Without any defence. Bellatrix cackled.

“What now old man? It seems Draco is not so weak after all. Finish him!”, she shouted.

Draco had lost the strength in her legs and arms. 

Dumbledore looked towards her with a sad look in his eyes. And then to Snape. “Severus. Please.”

Only secounds later, the horror begun.

“Avada Kedavra.”

Just a blink later there was no Dumbledore. The green coloured killing spell had took him. It had not only pushed the life out of the wizard but also the body out of the tower. The lifeless body fell from the Astronomy tower. Into a neverending darkness.   

 


	6. The Halfblood Prince

In a couple of seconds everything had changed. It seemed like Draco had just black out for a few moments and suddenly the whole world was upside down. She was not sure if she was physically there; everything felt like an outer body experience. Like she was watching everything but as a ghost, as an unimportant audience member.

But no, she was part of it. She was involved in a gruesome murder. She was responsible for the killing of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, the mightiest and most powerful wizard of this time. And he was dead. Because of her. It had been her that disarmed him. That left him powerless. That left him open for any kind of attack. To let him be killed. She could have just killed him herself and she would just feel as guilty. She was as guilty as Snape. Dumbledore’s colleague and possible friend of many years. But what kind of human being would kill their friend? What kind of human kills any other human?

If anything, this only shows Snape’s true colors. His real loyalties. He was a Death Eater. Without a doubt. A killer. Loyal to the most cruel and fearsome living being, Lord Voldemort. If Snape did not even hesitate to kill someone with whom he worked and lived for many years, who knows what other things he would be capable of. He might just go on a killing spree and kill everyone that pisses him off. Like Potter.

With the mention of Potter in her thoughts, Draco shuddered. Everything was over. There was no way, he would trust, help or work with her. Everything she risked was in vain. She was alone. She had no friends anymore. There was no way she could have explained this situation in any way that favors her. She just let Snape kill the light’s side most important member. She was responsible for his death. In the eyes of everyone else, she was a true member of the dark side, of Voldemort’s side. She was also a Death Eater. She had killed an innocent man. She was a murderer.

“Let’s leave, our Lord is waiting”, Snape proclaimed.

Bellatrix laughed maniacally and left first. The other Death Eaters followed quickly. Draco still stared at the point where Dumbledore last stood. She could not really grasp it that he was gone. That he was dead. Murdered.

“C’mon boy”, Snape grunted annoyed. 

He took Draco by his arm and pulled him outside. She let it happen. Let him pull her through Hogwarts. They walked through the Great Hall in which Bellatrix jumped and destroyed everything in her way. She hummed and jumped excitedly while massacring everything that stood in her way. To their bad luck there was no student crossing their way on whom they could prove their spells. The Death Eater did not really question why the did not meet anyone. They were all so excited that they saw the murder of Dumbledore, their Lord’s biggest obstacle in achieving his goal. With him out of the way, there was no one that really stood in their way. Potter was as good as gone. What could a little teenage boy do against such a powerful wizard as Lord Voldemort. They were sure that it would hardly need much time for them to be truly victorious.

The whole time until the went outside the castle and walked towards Hagrid’s hut, Draco was dragged by Snape. She felt like she was in trance. Or maybe shock. She could just not get in control of herself. She just let everything happen to her. She could not really remember what or who they saw on their way. Suddenly she stood in front of Hagrid’s hut. In the next moment, it was set aflame. Draco shuddered. That had been someone’s home. And there was her aunt dancing happily while destroying the hut. Even though Draco thought that this hut was horrible looking, she did not want it destroyed. Blankly, she stared into the flames. She had to be still alive, she could still feel the heat of the flames on her skin. If she closed her eyes, she would be able to imagine herself as a child sitting in the manor in front of the fireplace, her favorite place in the cold winters. Her mother and father would be behind her at the table and drinking tea and talking softly. This was one of her favorite places. And as she opened her eyes and looked into the flames, once again, this will be her most horrible memory with fire. The day Dumbledore died, and it was her fault. Her fault everything went to worse.

“SNAPE!!!”, someone cried from the woods.

Draco twitched. There was no way she could ever forget this voice. But how was he able to get here so fast. Draco turned and saw how Harry Potter, once her ally, stumbled through the woods towards them. His face was full of rage, his hand equipped with his wand shock with the intensity of his fury. Maybe Harry Potter would take revenge on her. She would understand it.

The other Death Eaters except Snape and Bellatrix were not in hearing range. Maybe they even left. Her aunt snarled and shoot a spell towards Potter. As soon as the spell hit him, Potter was on the ground. The fall on his back looked painfully. For a few seconds Draco thought that her aunt had killed him. She could not move nor breathe for these moments.

“No. He belongs to the Dark Lord!”, Snape exclaimed.

Annoyed Bellatrix rolled her eyes and walked off not without saying something to Draco: “Come Draco, the Dark Lord will be awaiting our happy news.”

“I…”, Draco mumbled but did not continue.

“Whatever, Snape will bring you. Don’t take long”, Bellatrix countered annoyed by her nephew’s antics.

Potter fired one spell after another after Snape while insulting him.

“Fight back you COWARD!”, Potter shouted.

Draco slowly walked towards Snape until she was at his side. She could not look Potter in his eyes.

Again, Potter found himself on his back, Snape was about to fire another spell after him, but Draco was afraid that this one might be fatally since Snape’s face had taken a rather dark turn.

“No!”, Draco took Snape’s wand arm and tried to stop him, “You...You said it yourself. He’s for the Lord.”

“Foolish boy”, the black-haired man replied and pushed his student away from him. Because of the force of the push, she fell.

Potter growled: “How dare you!”

Draco was not sure to whom it was directed. To her or to Snape. How dare she defend him? She did not want to know. She would not be able to accept the rejection. Shortly, Draco stood up again and thought how the situation might get resolved. How could she end this confrontation without Potter getting hurt? There was no way that she could convince either man to just go without harming the other. Should she just stupefy the boy und get Snape to leave? But before she could form any train of thought Harry had just fired another spell. A spell unknown to the Malfoy heir but not to Snape.

“SECTUMSEMPRA!”

Since Potter was rather unstable and Draco stood rather close to the Death Eater, the spell did not meet Snape but Draco. Snape tried to deflect but could not react fast enough since the spell fluctuated rather strongly, and he did not think of Draco being the spell’s aim.

Everything in Draco hurt. She did not even feel the fall to the ground. She did not feel how the cut through her flesh and let her bleed. To let her bleed to death. To nothingness. She started to lose consciousness.

“No… I…I… Draco”, Harry was on the verge of tears.

Snape swiftly performed a spell on the bleeding student. To stop him from dying. He would need some more time to fully heal the boy.

“Look, what you did to Malfoy. But you like it, don’t you? It’s a spell for enemies. And Malfoy matches it, doesn’t he? But you should think again to dare to use my own spells against me, Potter. Yes, I am the halfblood Prince.”

Snape kicked Potter’s wand away and walked towards Draco. He leaned down to him, touched him and seconds later, they were gone.

“He trusted you and you killed him. And I trusted you, Draco. Fuck. Draco. What did you do, Draco? Dammit Draco.”

Potter mumbled and succumbed to his tears that were rolling out of his eyes and down to the ground. He mourned his headmaster and his lost friend. He felt lost. Was everything over? Were they to lose everything? Had he won?

As soon as Harry could manage, he got up, took his wand and made his way towards the castle. And there he saw everyone outside. They were gathered around something. Or rather someone. Harry stumbled through the ground. He ignored the hands of his best friends that tried to grab him. He walked to the man that lied on the ground. To the corpse of his mentor. He knelt before him. And, he let his tears fall. He mourned his loss. He shouted. He cried.


	7. A voice in darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was starting to write the chapter on my phone while I was traveling by train. I was so into it that I was quite startled when someone asked if they could sit next to me （＞ｙ＜）  
> This chapter is quite shorter than the others but that's obviously supposed to be like that. (￣▼￣)  
> Enjoy!

Everything was black. No light, just blackness all around her. She could not see anything. But then she heard a voice. One she had never heard before. It sounded dark, evil and merciless.

 

Your fault. Your fault. Everything is _YOUR_ fault. Without you, everything would be fine. He would still be alive. Dumbledore would be alive. But you _killed_ him. If only never existed. If you had never been born…

 

No, I didn't kill him. That was Snape.

 

No, don't you remember it was you. You killed him. Snape was never there.

 

No, it was him. He did the spell. I remember it.

 

The scenario changed. Draco found herself again in the Astronomy Tower She raised her wand, without her doing, and disarmed the headmaster. Snape casted the killing spell and the old wizard fell out of the tower. He was dead.

 

See! It wasn't me!

 

Why are you so happy about this? A man died and you only care about not killing him so that you remain guilt-free? So that you won't end up in Azkaban? You truely are scum. Filth. Are you even a human? You only care about yourself, don't you? That's disgusting. You are disgusting. Everything would be better if only you had never been born. If you had never existed. Your being only brings misfortune and sorrow to everybody.

 

No… I … I…

 

You brought death to Dumbledore. How are Harry Potter and the Order supposed to win? You  even bring misfortune to your own family. You destroyed your mother’s womb as only a fetus with your greed. Your evil knows no boudaries. If you had not been born, they could finally have a male heir who would not only bring glory to the Malfoy name but he also would deserve this place, unlike you. But now, they only have you. Weak. Useless. A _g_ _irl._  You are a bringer of misfortune, sorrow and death. Your parents thought that in giving you a powerful name would help you lead a good life, but their whole effort was in vain. They should have named you Dabria, angel of death. You might look like an angel with your pale skin and bright blond hair, but you only bring misfortune and death to your family, friends and all the people around you. Your whole existence is evil. 

 

Draco felt her mouth going dry. She felt herself unable to reply. She had always thought she was doing the right thing, but maybe all had been wrong, from the beginning. Everything she had done would ultimately lead to a bad ending. To misfortune, sorrows and death. Was the voice right? Would everything be better if she died? If she had never existed? If she was dead, she would not have to always feel bad, to hide her true self, to be afraid of bringing shame to her family, to be scared of disappointing them, she would not need to feel any kind of pain. She was always scared of… everything. Maybe the world was even out to get her. To be free of her wrong existence. Was _she_ wrong? Was someone else supposed to be in her place and not her? A male Malfoy? Someone  _worthy?_

 

Yeah, you are wrong. Your existence does not do the world any good. And you even committed the worst sin. You killed someone, Dumbledore.

 

NO! That was NOT me!!!!

 

Snape was never there. It had always been only you and Dumbledore. No one else.

 

What?

 

The scene changed. Now she stood in front of Dumbledore. Only her and the headmaster were in the Astronomy Tower, no one else. She raised her wand. Draco tried to let go of her wand. It didn't work. She was not in control of her body. The only thing she could do was witnessing what was happening. What evil her body would commit.

 

"Draco don't do it. I know you don't want to."

 

"You have no idea what I want!"

 

Draco opened her mouth and her lips formed the words. "Avada Kedavra."

 

_NO!_

Everything was black again. But it did not matter to Draco. She had _killed_ someone. She shouted and cried with all her might. As if she was trying to undo her deed. She cried hysterically. She was no longer the composed Malfoy heir. Now she just a desperate lonely crying girl. She had just _killed_ a man. Her headmaster. Someone that she known for many years. And she had killed him in cold blood. Without any hesistation. She had took someone else's life away as if it was nothing. A life was precious. The highest good someone could possess. And she has taken it from someone. She was a murderer.

 

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

 

Tears were flowing down her cheeks. She opened her mouth to let a desperate cry out it. Her whole body shook. Draco let her body be overcome with all these tremors. The voice laughed.

 

It whispered: “You murderer.”

 

No. No. NO!

  

“No!”, Draco shouted and suddenly she opened her eyes to a bright surrounding. She immediatly had to close her eyes only to open them seconds later. She was in pain. Everything hurt. Her whole body shook. Her breath was getting more and more erratic. Tears  were flowing out of her eyes nonstop. She could not calm down, she did not want to calm down. The world was starting to blacken , to narrow down once again. She was finally starting to feel numb.

 

“Draco!!”, a woman shouted.

 

Someone rushed to her. Draco pushed her head with last strength to her right side side. There was someone else in this room. She looked into  familiar blue eyes. Her mother.

 

“Please Draco calm down. Everything will be alright”, her mother tried to comfort her while touching her face. She was trying to wipe away the tears that were flowing out of her daughter's eyes. But it was in vain, the tears would not stop but Narcissa did not let go of Draco's face.

 

The soft touch of her mother's hand calmed her down, if only for a short time. She looked into her mother's eyes while the world was starting to fade.

 

Was that concern that was showing in her mother’s eyes? Was it for her or the Malfoy heir? Was she concerned about her daughter or was she scared of losing the Malfoy heir? Did she even care about her? Or was she only important as she was the only heir of the Malfoy lineage. Would her mother still care about her if she was not the Malfoy heir? 

Without any answer to these questions, Draco fell into  a restless sleep.


	8. Waking up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeya! Been some time... ^^  
> I will edit this chapter some time tomorrow but seeing as it is 12am and I am super sleepy I will do so in some hours. But I wanted to put it up since a lot of you were waiting for so long. And I am sorry that nothing much plotwise happens here. Hopefully the next chapter will do so! ^^
> 
> Status: EDITED

It is said that every time you sleep you dream. If you wake up and seem to not recall any dream, then this is because you simply cannot remember it. You did dream but your brain, your consciousness, decided not to save them; to not be awake enough so that you will remember them. And as Draco stirred  from her sleep, she felt blank, empty, void of any feelings. This time around, she, to her delight,  did not remember any dream. For that she was thankful; especially concerning the last occurrence. That had been more of a nightmare than simply a dream working its way through her memories. Those had not been real memories but her fears of what could have been. What she might have done if she had been forced. How she would react in such an extreme situation. Even though it was simply a dream, the fear and horror she felt was real. There was no way that she would be able to forget those feelings nor occurrence. There was a reason she dreamt that. And she knew it. Her consciousness and her unconsciousness were well aware that she was innocent. That she was guilty. That she was the reason someone else, another human, died because of her and she did nothing to prevent that. That was something she will have to live through her whole life, if she survived the war. If anyone except the Dark Lord survived it. But now, that she awoke, she was somewhat happy that she was unable to really feel anything, be it emotional or physical. She did not feel  awake nor asleep. More like she was trapped in some kind of limbo. She simply existed. And she was not sure if she wanted to escape it or if she should just stay in this state so that she felt nothing. Neither fear, nor guilt, nor hatred for herself. She felt somewhat free. To be free of all kinds of burdens. Something she had not felt for months. Like she could finally relax. But this feeling was not supposed to continue on.

As soon as she opened her eyes, she noticed that the room, in which she was in, was rather dark. No bright lights. The bed, that she was on, felt really soft, as were the rest of her beddings. She immediately recognized the feel of this bed; it was her own one. The one in the Malfoy Manor. Was she back home in Wiltshire? She turned her head left and right, to confirm this thought. This was definitely her room. Her wooden bed right next to big windows. Ones she had often in her childhood starred out from. While doing so she had always hoped for something exciting to happen. If she looked out of them, she could see the forest that extended just outside the property of the Malfoy Manor. She had often wondered, as a child, what this forest might house. What kind of animals, magical or ordinary ones, or rather beings lived deeply in it? The forest had always seemed mysterious and magical to her. Not as dark and dangerous as the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts. This one was more inviting and did not threaten to swallow you up to never let you return. It seemed more friendly. Draco wondered if it still felt like it or if the appearance and presence of the Dark Lord even changed the forest. She had often stood in the gardens and starred into the forest hoping Ruby, her black parrot friend, would return to her. But he never did. The one emotion that she mostly felt in the manor was loneliness. Her parents were mostly busy with their own work or socializing and hardly interacted with her, and her tutors were no friends. Her teachers were old men and women who were quite strict with her and let her hardly enjoy the lessons. As a little child she did play with her parents but as she grew older these times grew rarer. The older she grew the more expectations were placed on her and the less time she got to truly enjoy and experience her life. This did not really change as she started attending Hogwarts. Because now the risk of her true identity and gender being revealed was higher. She tried to not get to close to anyone so that no one might think something was up with her and tried to investigate  her. The closest she felt to someone was the Golden Trio. Since they knew of her true loyalties. Concerning this aspect, she had not to lie to them. But this was all the past. This was not possible anymore. She had misused their trust. But she had not always been alone in the manor. Sometimes, they would get visits from her father’s friends who in turn brought their own children, so that they were not only connected to the Malfoy family through the patriarch but also the heir. They encouraged their children to get close to Draco. And Draco was well aware of that fact. Her father had taught her that no pureblood did ever do something out of the good of the heart. They always had a hidden agenda and tried to accomplish it. Those families included the Parkinsons, Notts, Goyles, Crabbe and rarely even the Zabinis. 

Now that she looked around, her room had not changed since the last time she was in it. The colour that mostly dominated her room was green. Her bed and the side tables, which were on both sides of her bed were adorned with some simple table lamps, were both made out of dark wood. Her beddings and the walls of her room were of a dark Slytherin green. As she turned her head to the right side, there was also a bookshelf with all kind of books, be it about magic history, charms, potions, astronomy or anything else. She liked reading about all kinds of subjects. But there were only a few books in there, since the manor had its own library with books that were acquired over centuries by her ancestors. There were books in this library that were extremely dangerous, that entailed dark and gruesome spells. Books that could not be touched by everyone without cursing yourself and your whole family lineage. Some magical families suffered from such curses because one ancestor touched something they were not supposed to touch. There were books you had better not touch since the risk and costs were way too high.

Right next to her bookshelf, right under another window was her dark wooden desk. And at the end of her bed was her trunk. One the most important things she owned. This one was sealed with a spell or rather concealed certain things in it. One she had created by herself. Another person could open it but would not find anything out of the ordinary in there. If you did not open it with a certain spell incarnation and flick of your wand, the things that she hid in there would not appear and remain hidden. It was almost like creating a second hidden dimension within the trunk. It had taken some time and effort researching the creation of this spell and seal. But this was an important investment that she had to do in order to be a spy and hide certain things. She needed a safe place where she could put her findings without the risk of someone accidently discovering them. Especially since many Death Eaters visited and hanged around the manor. The risk of being discovered was higher than ever. But it had not posed that much of an issue. Draco had hidden things from people for her whole  life. She hid her true appearance and self every day. That was her everyday life. Inside the trunk was one of her enchanted notebooks that were connected with the one Harry had. If he had not already gotten rid of it. After her betrayal. She grimaced. Thinking about Potter was not a good idea. This would only bring bad thoughts and pain with it.

As she opened her eyes again, she was overwhelmed with the greenness of her room. Green had always been her favourite colour, even as a kid; before she knew about Slytherin and all the other Hogwarts houses. It was not only the colour of Slytherin, but also that of nature. And she had always adored nature. She liked taking a stroll in her mother's garden, chasing the white peacocks that lived on the grounds of the manor or playing with a pet crup. But now green not only resembled the eyes of Potter as he looked at her in distrust but also that of the killing spell. The Avada Kedavra that had killed Dumbledore. A shiver went through her body. She felt the oncoming panic rising in her body. Slowly it made its way through every vein in her weakened body. Her breath left and entered her body, trembling. But before she could succumb into her anxiety-filled panic, her door was opened. Her whole body suddenly stiffened. She did not dare to open her eyes. Who knew who that could be. Not only a Death Eater but also the Dark Lord himself. The panic rose even higher. He did reside inside the manor. This was his headquarters from which he controlled his followers. Voldemort was someone Draco was extremely scared of. Who knew what he would do now that she had failed. She had failed everyone. In every aspect.

“Draco!”, a female voice exclaimed.

The blond teenager relaxed. She could have cried in relief. This was no Dark Lord about to kill or torture her. This was a voice that she would be able to recognize everywhere. It was the voice of her mother.  A stab went through her body. Even though her mother sounded shocked, she still kept up the farce. If she had been really shocked or scared, she would have chosen her birth name, her female name, then her male name to address her. But she did not. She chose not to. Did she even remember Draco's birth name? 

Draco opened her eyes again and looked at the face. Her mother had seen some better days. Even though her hair and clothes were perfect nothing seemed out of place, her face seemed to speak another truth. Wrinkles and dark shadows were displayed on her face and let her appear older than she actually was. How long had she been asleep? And what had actually happened? She tried to remember but her last thoughts before her sleep were kind of vague. The only thing she was sure about was that Dumbledore was dead, Snape had done it and Harry was suddenly there as they had tried to leave Hogwarts. How much had he seen?

Draco tried to sit up but as soon as she tried to do this, she winced in pain. Shocks of pain run through her body. Everything hurt. Extremely bad. She felt like she had fallen from her broom and hundreds of erumpents had trampled all over her. Multiple times.

As soon as the moan of pain had left her daughter’s mouth, Narcissa was next to her and tried to steady her.

“Don’t try to move much. The spell seems to not have healed you completely.”

“S-S-Spell? What do you mean mother?”, Draco’s voice sounded hoarse. It almost felt like she had not used her voice for a few days. That could not possible, could it?

“Don’t you remember, honey?”, Narcissa spoke in a soft voice and pushed strands her daughter’s hair out of her face. Her pale face seemed even whiter than usual. She had known that sending her child back to Hogwarts would not end well. She should have been firmer when she, it was around a year ago, proposed the idea of taking Draco to Beauxbatons. She had felt that Hogwarts was getting unsafe day by day, especially since the Dark Lord had come back but also since Lucius was so involved in his plans. She did not want her child involved in their plans. Especially since there was such a high risk with Draco getting caught. Draco is not supposed to be directly involved their intrigue. Her goal was to flee England with her child and to get to know what was happening with the Dark Lord from the side lines. Or until everything had calmed down somewhat. But Lucius had refused. He had said that he needed the support of his wife, of his family, in such hard times of need. He could not effort to have them split up. He would not be able to protect them from such distances. And since she still loved him and respected his opinion, she had succumbed. She had hoped and trusted in Lucius that he would protect their child. But they both had failed. Draco had nearly died in Hogwarts!

It was kind of strange to hear her mother calling her “honey”. It had been years since her mother last called her not “Draco”. She tried to recall her memories. Tried to remember why she was in pain. With a lot of effort, which entailed much pain and moaning, she finally got her arms out of blanket and put them on it. Her arms were bandaged. And now that she felt conscious of it, her upper body was also tightly wrapped. Most likely bandages too, since she was wearing a loosely fitted shirt. Now that she was aware of it, she was not wearing her glamour either! Had she been that gravely injured? And had someone noticed it?

“I…I remember aunt Bellatrix setting fire to Hagrid’s hut… and Snape pulled me with him. But aunt left shortly but Snape and I didn’t… But why? I think Potter was there… and they were duelling? But..”, Draco tried to make sense of her tangled memories.

 Narcissa seated herself on the bed and took Draco’s bandaged hand into hers.

“The Potter boy and Severus duelled. And it seems like Potter fired some aggressive attacking spell that went rogue and accidently you were hit. Not directly but still. If I see Potter again, he will not see another day! There is no way I will tolerate him nearly killing you!”

 _Funny how your husband's master wants to kill him_ , was Draco's thought but did not voice it to her mother. 

Draco remembered Potter yelling a weird spell but after that there was only darkness. And after that… Her weird dream… About her killing Dumbledore. She shivered.

“B…But the glamour… Has anyone seen? Does anyone know? And why am I bandaged? A healing spell would be enough, wouldn’t it?”

Narcissa sighed. “No one has seen, except Severus, but he is sworn to secrecy by a wizarding vow. The spell seemed to be unique. Only Severus knew the counter spell. But for whatever reason, he did not heal you immediately. Some light scars will remain. But we had to bandage you since the cuts did not heal fully. We could not give you any kind of potion while you were asleep. Your body refused taking them. And you have been asleep for three days. And no one has entered your room. I was mostly with you in here, waiting for you to wake up. And if I was not here, I put a house elf in front of your room to warn me if someone might enter your room, but thankfully no one did. And any kind of glamour would have interfered with your natural healing since this is an injury caused by a spell. But I am so happy that you finally woke up. I was really concerned about you, honey.”

Her mother tightened her grip somewhat on her hand. This caused a pained moan leaving her mouth. “Oh, I am sorry. But I will get to the kitchen to let the house elves cook you something simple so that you can finally drink some potions to get you fully healed. I will be back shorty, darling. Relax for the time being and don't worry too much, everything will be fine.”

 _A miracle has to happen for everything to be fine._  Draco sighed and tried to encouragingly smile towards her mother. But this only caused some more pain for her.

Her mother let go of her hand, put a kiss on her forehead and swiftly left her room.

Draco closed her eyes and deeply breathed in and out. She tried to stomach what her mother had told her. There was only one question in her mind: What was she supposed to do now?

 

 


	9. Doubts and first messages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suddenly wanted to write the next chapter. So here it is. My chapters always turn differently than I expect them to. I started to write this one since I thought it would be a short one. I think it is one if not the longest one until now. If there are some mistakes in it, sorry. Will edit in the next few days. Still I hope you enjoy it!

The first few days after Draco woke up from his sleep had not been easy. The potions help to lessen the pain, but her injuries did need some time to heal. It had been a rather dark curse that Harry Potter had used after all.  The first time she went into the bathing rooms that had been right next to her own rooms, she was finally able to see the whole damage that Potter inflicted upon her.  With the help of one of the house elves, named Wolby, she entered the bathroom. After the little creature had prepared her bathing waters, Draco had ordered him out of the room while thanking him for his help. The elf had looked at her in shock and wonder but had fast left the room. With a quick _Colloportus_ she locked the door. She put her wand on the sink and stepped a few steps back so that she would be able to see her torso on the big mirror that was attached above the sink.

Slowly, since she was still in a bit if pain, she undressed herself. Her loose shirt was left on the floor right next to her. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply in and out. She was not sure what she will see now. Her wounds were not healed completely and according to her mother it will need a few more days if not a week for them to be gone. The scars are supposed to fade to a certain degree but will still, most likely, remain on her body.  She wondered how they will look like. Will you even be able to see them on her pale skin? According to her mother, her father had been furious when he got to know what had happened to his child. While the whole magic world was in distress about the murder of Dumbledore, Voldemort had Lucius escape Azkaban. The Malfoy patriarch had been furious. How could Harry Potter dare to leave permanent marks on his heir? This would be a stain in their legacy. No Malfoy was supposed to be marked in such a way. And he could have even lost his heir! If his master had not been so fixed on killing the boy himself, Lucius would have arranged for something to happen to the boy himself. And even though he was furious and mad about Draco’s injury, he was also quite embarrassed and disappointed in his child. His heir had disappointed the trust of his master, the Dark Lord. He had created a way for the Death Eaters to enter Hogwarts, but he had failed his most important part of the mission. He had not killed Dumbledore himself. But still the wizard was still dead, thanks to Severus. Lucius had decided to not visit his child.

Draco was not sure what to think about her father not visiting her. Was it a good or a bad thing? Was it bad because he would not even visit his own child who had been on the verge of death? Was he too disappointed in her not achieving her mission? Would he slap her while seeing her? Would he scream at her? Or would he simply look at her in a disapproving way like he always did when she was not enough? When her achievements were not sufficient for his standards. Draco did not remember her father lastly told her that he was proud of her or if she did a good job. She was not even sure if he ever did. And was that not a sad thing. Even while playing somewhat with her while she was a child there had always been a certain distance between them that had grown between her and her father but also her mother as she grew older. Did they notice that she no longer believed in their pureblood beliefs? Did they no longer really care for her? Was she simply a disappointment? If it were possible for them would they have another child and would disown and throw her out? She was after all not the kind of heir they wished for. Even though they had helped her creating her glamour, it had been there idea at first. Why could she have not simply lived as a normal girl? Just because she was the heir of the Malfoy lineage? Did the inheritance magic even differentiate between genders? Or was it simply just something pureblood wizards decided? It always seemed weird to her that she had to disguise herself. But her parents never really explained it to her.  And she did  not dare to contradict her parents. She loved them. Even if she was not sure if they returned this familial love in the same way. Surely, they did love her. Maybe they simply were not able to show it to her. If she knew the whole truth, things would be easier. If her parents were truly open with her. But who was she to judge them? She was a hypocrite. She was after all a spy for the light side. She betrayed her parents’ love and trust for years. She had put her own morals above her family. Simply because she thought she was right. But was she? What if everything turned around and she was in the wrong? What if the light side won and they simply abandoned her? There was no one who would believe her, and it was most likely that a new minister would simply get rid off all dark pureblood families after the war. To get rid off anyone that was not fully a light wizard. There would be hardly anything that she could do. But there is also no way that she would help Voldemort winning this war. There was no way she could let that monster win. If things turn worst, she will simply convince her parents to run away with them. And if they did not want to, she will simply do so on her own. She could live on her own. It is not like she was ever really close with anyone else in her life. She might just simply pick a forest, take her wand with her and walk so deep into one, so that no one would ever find her. Some magical beings might become her friends. Most magical animals had always like her, except that one hippogriff, but that was also her own fault. She was still trying to find herself and did not know how to really fit into. So, she chose the persona of a bratty spoiled heir. Had not been a wise choice. But she knew better. Now.

 

She looked in the mirror and saw her self bandaged up. Slowly she loosened the dressing. Her mother had changed these every day since she woke up. She had always closed her eyes and refused to look at her own body. She had been prohibited to take a path or to shower. Only a refreshing charm or a cleaning spell that had been done by her mother was allowed. As to not reopen her wounds. But now that the wounds were closed, she could finally clean herself thorough. Cleaning spells were convenient, but you did only feel really clean after you took a bath or a shower manually. And Draco had always liked taking a bath or being clean in general. So, when her mother finally allowed her to do so, she took her first chance. But she had not thought about seeing her body. Her true body with scars. She had not put the glamour back on seeing as no one was allowed to enter her room except her mother, her father and the house elves. The other Death Eaters were too busy with their own agenda to bother the Malfoy heir. Draco had somewhat enjoyed it to not having a glamour on her 24/7. It felt somewhat refreshing and real. But there was no way she could simply enjoy these feelings. Not with a psychotic mass-murdering dark wizard living in her home. It almost felt like his mere presence was infesting the whole manor. Dark thoughts always entered her mind. Nightmares were a daily occurrence. She was afraid of the days that were to come. When she had to join the other Death Eaters that were also living here. But also, of the Dark Lord, who knew what his next plans were going to be.

After the bandages were also on the floor, right next to her shirt, she hesitated a bit to look up. It had been years since she had looked at her female body. She had always worn the glamour, for years. She was not sure how her body had changed. Did she finally look like a woman? And what about the scars. Would the scar look hideous? Were these marks worse than her Death Eater mark? Was that even a possibility? She was so used to her unmarked pale male skin that she was afraid that she might not recognize her self.

She breathed deeply in and out, once again, trying to calm her thoughts. She looked up. And there she was. The first thing she noticed was her hair. It had become somewhat longer, just reaching her chin. Her facial features did soften somewhat, but dark shadows were decorating her face. Her face had seen some better days. Her shoulders had become narrower and her hips a bit broader. And she could see that she had also average sized breasts. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except her pale hair and skin. And the dark mark that stick out. The stark comparison between the black mark and her white skin was enormous. It was indeed worse than the scars that were on her body. The Sectumsempra scars were criss-cross all over her torso and arms. They looked like someone tried so slice her on multiple places on her upper body. Their colour was still slightly red. It was most likely  that they would fade into a pale colour. Her once pure and unblemished skin was no longer. It was not only marked by scars caused by a spell but also a magical mark, the dark mark. Such a magical mark was way worse than any other scar. It might even leave some kind of magical residue from the dark lord. Something she really hoped that would not be true. She wanted nothing from that being near her. It would definitely corrupt her and her magic. Would her magic even truly be hers?

Draco sighed and looked away from the mirror. There was nothing she really could do, was there? She could not leave the manor, and she was not healed enough to really engage in any kind of schemes. She had to wait until she was fully healed.  She could try to contact Potter…. But would he even answer nor read her messages? Did he throw the notebook away? Did he maybe think she was dead? That he killed her? The last time he had seen her, she had been gravely injured by him. She did not think that this was something he really intended to do, but something that happened accidently. As what happened to her. Like she did not want to have Dumbledore killed. She did not do it herself. But she did nothing to prevent it. In comparison to the old wizard, she was still alive. And the least she could do was to try to inform Potter. So that he did not think of himself as a murderer. He was not someone who would try to kill someone in cold blood. At least she did not think so.

She undressed the rest of her clothing and went towards the bathtub and began to take a long bath. To clean herself of all the dirt. She rubbed her body with a scrub until it started to get red. She thought that if she scrubbed hard enough all the burdens would finally leave her. But this was not the case. She still felt guilty for what happened. After she took her bath, she put some healing salve on her scars and wrapped some fresh bandages around her body. She did this without the help of her wand or magic. She thought it best to do so manually. She put simple dark trousers on, and a simple bright shirt. She slipped back into her soft green coloured slippers and went back to her room while still rubbing her hair with a towel. Today she did not feel like drying it with a spell. She felt like not using magic.

As she entered her room, she immediately locked it. She went to one her side tables on which her potions laid. Pain reliving ones and ones to help her heal. She hesitated. It probably would be best that she first took the notebook and tried to communicate with Potter. This way she was not influenced by potions and had a clear head. And if the answers or rather the silence that would most likely follow her questions were too hard, the potions would help in compensating with the pain. Somewhat at least. And it was highly unlikely that Potter would immediately answer her, he was most likely busy with something else. Something more important than this stupid notebook from a traitor. She sighed. It would help her a lot if she could not think of herself as a traitor. But she could not bring herself to not think like that.

She went to her trunk, performed her spell to open the trunk. There it was. The simple leather notebook. There is no point in waiting. She took it, put it on her desk and sat on the chair. For a few long minutes, she simply stared at it. If she opened it, everything might change. She might lose her friends, her allies. She might be all alone.

But is it even possible to feel more alone than she already felt? The relationship with her parents felt hollow. There was no way she could talk to her fellow Slytherins. There was only the Golden Trio left, Harry.

With shivering hands, she finally opened the notebook. But she immediately closed her eyes. She did not feel ready to already read them. Was this maybe a mistake? Would it better to simply assume that they hated her than to really see it written down for her? Suddenly her mind replayed a short conversation between her and the Golden Boy:

_No matter what happens, we will remain allies and friends, okay Draco? Trust in me!_

_Whatever you say, Potter._

Should she trust in Potter?

But she knew the answer to that question immediately. She did not hesitate a bit. She opened her eyes and read the messages.

_Draco you bastard!_

_I hate you!_

_How could you do this!!_

_I trusted you._

_I… I am sorry._

_Please be alive._

_…_

_I didn’t want to hurt you. Please don’t be dead._

_You still haven’t answered and there is no way I know you even read these. It’s okay if you hate me and want nothing to do with all this anymore but please just tell me are you alive?_

_I saw everything happening in the Astronomy Tower. I showed Hermione and Ron the memory. Ron’s dad had a mobile pensieve at home. Ron was kinda mad. That it’s okay now. Hermione analysed the whole thing. Like always. And we talked it through. We don’t blame you. You did not kill Dumbledore, that was Snape. And you … you were most likely in shock and you could not really do much in the situation to prevent it from happening. You even tried to help me against Snape. And I really didn’t want to hurt you. Maybe a bit at that time, But I really didn’t want to kill you. I didn’t know what the spell would do. And I am sure that you will scold me if you see me again for using a spell that I didn’t know about. But please be okay. Write back, Draco. I beg you._

With a shivering hand, Draco put her quill into the ink pot and began to write. But not in her usual neat handwriting. It was all shaky.

_I told you not to use our real names, you dumbass._

And to her surprise she got an immediate response.

_DRACO!!_

_I told you not to use them! You’re lucky these sentences erase themselves._

_Ah yeah. I am sorry. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you?_

_I am okay. I am in the manor._

_Do you need help? Should we get someone to get you out?_

_NO! Everything is fine. No one bothered me since I’ve come here. Don’t worry._

_Are you… really okay? What about the injuries?_

_They are fine. Mostly healed. I will be back in full health in no time. Don’t worry about it, Potter, And I am sorry too._

_He!  You used my name too! But it’s okay. Somewhat. I mean Dumbledore is still dead but there was nothing you could really do. And I mean the war has begun, hasn’t it?_

_Yeah it has._

_Are you really okay?_

_Yeah, yeah. And I … I am still your ally. I still want him gone. And I will help you._

_Thanks. Not much has happened yet. I… You should better rest and I… I will contact you in a few days with updates. About what’s going on._

_Yeah. Ok. Don’t get killed._

_Will make sure not to. Bye. And get better._

_Thanks. Bye._

Draco closed the book,  put it in the trunk and sealed it with her spell. Slowly she sat right next to her trunk. She pulled her legs to  herself and buried her face in her legs. She could no longer supress it. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. And sobs  wrecked through her body.  Her crying went on and never seemed to stop. Until it did, until she felt empty. But also relieved.


	10. Back in the manor

Draco was not allowed to leave the Malfoy Manor; something she had not even dare to do. Where would she have even gone to. This message from the Dark Lord was delivered, in glee, by Bellatrix. The Malfoy heir had not seen the Dark Lord since she returned to the Malfoy Manor. The time he was there, she had been busy healing in  her chambers and Voldemort had not bothered with her. To her luck. She had been quite weakened, after all. She got to know that while she was had been still in school, Voldemort had kidnapped Professor Charity Burbage. He had killed her and fed her body to Nagini, his most loyal and important servant. There was not even a body left to bury. When Draco had heard of it, from her house elf Wolby, who had witnessed the gruesome act, she had thrown up. How could someone be so gruel? And how was Harry supposed to stop a monster like that? He was simply a teenager! Success seemed rather unlikely.

But the Dark Lord had also kidnapped and tortured Ollivander and put him in the dungeons. Draco had, secretly, visited him. She tried to get him some blankets and a bit of food. She had even tried to heal him, but he had forbidden it. If the Dark Lord was to return and he would see, that his body was in such a good state, it would not only endanger him but also Draco. He assured her that he was tough and old enough to survive this. That she should not worry about him and that he had always felt that she was different from her parents. That she had chosen a dangerous path and that he hoped that they will both survive it. And if they did she ought to visit his shop so he could properly thank her. Her mother told her that the Dark Lord had taken her father’s wand. Therefore, her mother and father rarely left each other’s side. So as to not let any of them wandless. Who knew what one of the Death Eaters or even the werewolf Greyback would do to him, simply for fun? For not being enough for their master.

A few days before Harry’s birthday, Voldemort and some of his loyal servants left to attack him in the muggle world. She had not been able to warn them early enough. She got only to know about it as they left. She had rushed to her room, without anyone else noticing, since most of the Death Eaters had accompanied their master and wrote Harry a message. But he had not replied. Therefore, she was not sure, if her warning was even helpful. If he even still had their notebook. If he lost it while fightin, there was no way to stay in contact with him. She could not send him an owl without it being intercepted. There would be no more messaging.

But things turned worse after Voldemort had returned. He had been in an extremely bad mood. As soon as he opened the doors of the manor, he had stormed into the dungeons. And shortly after, everyone was able to hear the screams of the old  wandmaker. Every time, Draco heard them she shuddered. She felt like a part of her was dying with every scream. She felt so helpless just listening to this man getting tortured by a monster. The Death Eaters had triumphantly declared that Alastor Moody had been killed by their own master. But they had not been able to kill Harry Potter. As she heard that Harry was okay, a certain feeling of relief went through her body.

She had never really liked Moody. Even though it had not been him that had transfigured her into a ferret, she could not trust him. But still, she never wished for him to die. This privilege was only reserved for one person. The person, who at this moment, was using her family home as his headquarters to torture and kill people. Every night and day she always heard someone crying in pain. Someone was always suffering in her home. In a home that she ,at a time, had felt loved and happy in. Now she only felt uncomfortable and scared. There was nothing of these positive feelings left. She felt like dread was imbedded into the walls. There was no way she would ever feel at home here. She really just wanted to run away from here. But there was no way that she could ever do so.

She went to the library. No one really ever went there. This was a place of sanctuary for Draco. There and her room. Her mother had made sure to ward her room. And until now, no one had ever bothered her inside her room. Some Death Eaters threw some insults at her, but she mostly ignored them. They would never get physical or magical attack her. They would not dare. She was after all the Malfoy heir, and this was her magical home. She knew how to turn to use the house to her advantage. And it seemed like the Dark Lord had infused into his loyal subordinates that no one was to harm her. But still, every time Greyback was here, she found him uncomfortable close to her and she caught him a few times smelling her hair. As a consequence, she had started to strengthen her glamour and mostly hid in her room or the library while the werewolf was in the manor. She used the library as an excuse to learn. Since she was not allowed to attend Hogwarts, she still wanted to acquire magical knowledge. She had always hope to find something that might help Potter and the rest of his golden trio to defeat the Dark Lord. But there were hardly any results. She went to her usual place. A  desk just under the window. A window that had a view to her mother’s garden. No Death Eater ever went there. She wondered why. Maybe they thought it was too feminine walking through a garden. The flowers were in full bloom and her mother had planted lots  of pinkish flowers. Maybe she had done so to repel the Death Eaters. The garden was after all her mother’s pride. Her name was also derived from a flower so that might be a reason why her mother had such a large interest in flowers. And you should never underestimate flowers. You could use certain ones in potions to create extremely toxic poison that not always led to death but might also handicap you for life, be it physically not mentally. Draco had always known to not judge by her first impression. Especially since her outer appearance was not her true one. She had knowledge in the art of deception.

As she started to read a book about some cures about magical injuries, she suddenly heard something from the window. She looked up. And there was big black bird. The longer she observed it, the more familiar it looked. She might be wrong, but she could swear that this one was Ruby, her black parrot friend from when she was a child. Had he finally come to visit her? Now, in this time in which she was in dire need of a friend and companion? She slowly opened the window. It creaked but the bird did not fly away, he simply stepped aside to let Draco open the window. As soon as she opened it, the parrot jumped inside the library. Draco chuckled and softly starred at him.

“Hi”, she softly whispered.

The bird answered with squeak. Draco’s smile got bigger. Slowly, so as to not spook the bird, she rose her hand towards him. She was not sure if he might try and bite her. But he did not. He let her pet him. To get more of her attention, he stepped closer and rubbed his head on her chest.

“I missed you, too. You were gone for a long time.”

As she cuddled with him, all her bottled up feelings suddenly hit her. This was the first times in weeks, if not months that she was close to any kind of living being. Tears were constantly leaving her eyes and it seemed that they did not want to stop. She could hardly suppress the sobs that were threatening to leave her throat.

She needed some time until, the sobs ended. Her whole body shivered. The bird made a squeaking noise and pinched her.

She chuckled. “Sorry, Was I hugging you too hard?”

The bird rumbled in response. This reminded her of her childhood, she sometimes felt when she was conversing with Ruby that he seemed to understand her. Like he was no ordinary bird. Every time, she had asked him a question or had rambled about something, he had answered. Either by trying to calm her or as if his bird noises were an appropriate answer. Or maybe she was finally losing her mind. Would be not that impossible. She was after all locked away in a Manor full of dark and rather mad wizards. She hardly interacted with her parents and  mostly hid in either the library or her room.

“Am I finally losing it?  Talking to a bird?”

Ruby pinched her in retaliation, as if he was mad that she was referring to him as a simple bird.

“Oh, excuse me. You are after all a rather lovely bird”, and she pressed a kiss on the bird’s head.

What she did not notice while interacting with the black parrot, that there no screams were anymore leaving the dungeons. And so, it came as a shock to her when suddenly the doors of the library were forcefully opened. She flinched. This could not be someone who would be well-disposed towards her. And it was not, she tried to shoo Ruby out of the window, but he refused. Before ´she could force him out of the window, the person who entered was behind her. She did not need to turn to know who it was. Everywhere he went, she kind of felt when he was near. Dark magic was so imbedded in his self, Draco could feel its presence. It was as if whisper of dark beings followed him and cursed everyone around him. And he seemed to embrace this darkness, seemed to strive in it.

“Draco” stated the Dark Lord, Voldemort, himself in his sinister sounding voice. A mere sound of his voice let her shudder.

Why did he have to be the one to enter? Did he come straight after torturing Ollivander? What did he want?

Draco was scared of him. Scared what he would do. She could not look him in the eyes. Too afraid what she would see in them. She turned around, looked at her feet.

In a shivering sounding voice, she answered; “M-My lord.”

She was sure that if she did something wrong now, if she displeases him, there was no one who would help her. That he could do whatever he wanted now, and no one would know. Would he be more ruthless now, that they were alone?

“What of the bird?”, Voldemort wanted to know.

Draco hoped that he would no try to kill him. That won’t be something she would be able to overcome.

“H..He is somewhat of a pet”, Draco began and, in her fear, that if she did not provide a perfect excuse, he would kill him, she rambled on, “I’ve known of him for a long time. And parrots are known to  be intelligent. And I thought that he might be more reliable than an owl. And I... I thought of turning him into my familiar. I sensed a magical core in him… And I thought he might become my magical companion… Like Nagini is yours, my lord”

Voldemort chuckled. And even this act seemed dark and sinister. “Bold of you to compare my Nagini to such a pathetic bird.”

“Of course not, my Lord.”

Ruby creaked. Draco turned around to him. Thousands of thoughts streamed through her brain. Without thinking of the consequences, she took Ruby and  threw him, as softly as she could, out of the window and closed it. He cawed loudly but to her luck and hope did not return and simply flew to trees.

The dark lord clicked with his tongue. “That was rather rude, was it not, Draco?”

It gave her the shivers that he addressed her with her first name. Normally he had only, when he talked to her, used  “young Malfoy”. But ever since their last talk  he only used Draco. Something not many people did.

“I apologize, my lord. But I thought you came here to talk to me about something. And the bird would only interrupt you”

“Is that so…”

She simply nodded.  He slowly took a few steps forward, so that he stood directly in front of her. She screwed her eyes shut. She felt the fear and anxiety rising in her. She knew that her body will soon begin to tremble. Not a good sign in front of the Dark Lord. These were all signs of weaklings, cowards.

“I am sure you heard all the cries from our kind wandmaker, haven’t you?”

“Y-Yes my lord.”

“You haven’t been down there, haven’t you?”

“N-N-No, my Lord.”

He hummed. And suddenly he grabbed her chin in his cold spindly fingers and forced her eyes to look into his eyes. Into the eyes of a murderer and torturer. Someone who did these acts not out of necessity but out of amusement.

“You wouldn’t dare to lie to me, would you?”

Shaking, she shook her head.

“You did disappoint me. Snape killed Dumbledore, not you. But you did create a pathway for my Death Eaters to infiltrate Hogwarts. And you came back half dead. Rather pathetic, for one of me followers, don’t you think?”

She simply continued to tremble. What could she have said to this?

“And you remember our last talk, don’t you?”

She nodded.

“And I don’t think you’re dumb enough not get it, aren’t you?”

She slowly nodded. The trembling intensified.

“Then you know, what my plans for you are, don’t you? What you will become after I kill Potter and all of his little order followers? And as my consort you would  not dare to disappoint me more, wouldn’t you? And you should know that when you become mine, the only one allowed to do anything to you, will be me. And to become the consort of the strongest wizard, you better not disappoint me more. I will not always be so considerate as now. You will not disobey me, you should know that if you’re in my good graces, nothing will happen to you. And I might be inclined to listen to a few requests of my loyal consort. Especially if she willingly gives me the heir that I desire. After all, a child created in mutuality has a strong magic affinity. Something I highly desire. And I might not hurt some people if my consort wishes so. But if you displease me, remember unlike Potter you still have lovely parents, don’t you?”

And he began to gruesomely smile. She had to suppress her tears. If she could not do so with her trembling than at least the tears.

He suddenly looked behind her to see what she was reading about. His eyes turned dark.

“Why are you reading about healing injuries from curses”, he hissed and his grip around her chin became extremely painful.

Did he know that she went to the dungeons, that she tried to heal and help the prisoners?

“I..The marks… I got from Potter. They left some scars and still hurt. Sometimes. I was looking for a way to... to… erase them completely.”

He hummed and pushed her away from him. She hit the desk behind her with her back. She grunted in pain. More marks on her body.

“Pettigrew!”, Voldemort shouted.

And just a few seconds later, the follower appeared. Just like the disgusting scared little follower that he was, he immediately fell down on his knees and stammered: “Y-Y-Yes my Lord?”

“Take the Malfoy heir to his room. He is not to leave his room for a few days. No interaction with someone else. No one visits his rooms. And no one gives him anything except food. I will inform you when he is to leave his room again. And then he will help support the Death Eaters inside the manor.”

“Yes, my Lord. Come, Malfoy, you heard the master, get to your room.”

She was pulled by the disgusting Death Eater to her room. The whole time while she was leaving the library, she was watched by Voldemort. Her book remained opened and unread on the desk. As soon as Pettigrew pushed her in her room, she fell on her knees. The Death Eater locked her in her room not without hissing insults at her.

“Filthy brat. You better be gracious that our lord hasn’t killed you yet.”

And he slammed the door.

While she trembled, she crawled to her bed and cried.

How could her life turn so drastically? There was no way, that she would ever give this monster a child. She would rather kill herself. No matter how much she loved her family that is something she could not endure!

She would really like to write to Potter, but she was too scared that Voldemort would come back to her room. She waited until deep into the night, until she moved again. No house elf brought her something to eat this evening. But there would be no way that she would have been able to digest anything.

When she opened her notebook this night, she wrote to Potter.

_I hope you are okay; I am sorry about Moody. And you better kill you-know-who. If you don’t, I will first kill you than him._

In the morning, she received an answer from Potter.

_I am fine. But Hedwig is gone. And don’t worry about him. I will end him. I just want things to be finally over and for people to no longer die for me…_

She had answered him:

_Get over yourself. People don’t die for you. They die for the cause of the order. They would do so even without you. You have such a hero complex._

_Nice to hear that you’re still such a git._

 

 

 


	11. In her own home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the nice comments, kudos and subscribtion~  
> d-(*_*)-b

In the next few weeks, the events seemed to take a turn to the worst. One of the only happy happenings had been the marriage between Fleur Delacour and Bill Weasley. But it had not been as peaceful as the weeding couple and their family and friends had hoped. The ceremony was interrupted by Kingsley’s Patronus warning them that the Ministry had fallen. Fallen to the hands of Voldemort and his underlings. Just as the message has been conveyed, guest started to panicky flee. To save themselves. They fled to what they hoped was a safe place. Everyone wanted to know that their loved ones were safe and not in any kind in danger. All those people that were aligned with the Order of the Phoenix had never thought that Dumbledore would fall. Some of them were doubting they would win the war with the strongest ally in their ranks gone. They still had Harry Potter, but he was after all still only a teenager. How could he really defeat such a strong and dark wizard? And the Death Eaters had such powerful allies! Their fears were only confirmed by the announcement of the fallen Ministry. Shortly afterwards, Death Eaters were arriving at the burrow and attacking and terrorizing the guests. Harry, Ron and Hermione were able to flee and started their quest for the Horcruxes.

To their luck, Hermione had been prepared. Harry had entrusted Draco’s notebook to her, for safe keeping. She had spelled a bag in such a way, that you could put as much things in it as possible. In an evening a few days later,  Draco and Harry had communicated through the Notebook. Draco had told him that Voldemort had come back to the Manor and boasted that everything was going in such a nice way. He had been the one to kill Rufus Scrimgeour and had put a put a new regime in place. He had it arranged that Harry Potter had been declared as Undesirable Number one. She had also informed him that none of them ever speak Voldemort’s name out loud; he had like she had predicted placed a Taboo Curse on his name. One that enabled his loyal followers to track those that spoke his name out loud. She also told him that she was not allowed to attend Hogwarts and that Snape had been installed as a headmaster and that the Carrow siblings had become teacher. She told him that she really hoped that most of the Muggleborn and Half-blood students had not return to their school. Voldemort had after all declared for Muggleborns to be imprisoned in Azkaban. He had told her that the three of them would officially go on a hunt for Horcruxes. He also told her their conversations would most likely become rarer as time went on.

To her luck, Voldemort was hardly in the Manor. He was looking for something. For a better wand. She had heard talks about the Elder wand. But she did not know what to think about this. Like every child of a pureblood family or any magical family, her mother had told her the story about the tale of the brothers and the three hallows. She knew that apparently the one who owns all three of them is supposedly to become the master of Death. Something she knew Voldemort was interested in. Especially the Elder Wand. The wand that was to be the most powerful to be ever created. But was it true or simply a fairy tale? She knew that Potter owned an invisible cloak. But was it part of the three hallows? It could have been a relic passed down in the Potter line. She knew that some old pureblood families had some strange and powerful and sometimes even ancient magical relics as a family heirloom. But Horcruxes were also supposed to be fairy tales… She was aware of the fact that Voldemort would love to become the Master of Death and would most likely pursue any kind of rumour that was heading in such a direction. He had already tricked Death once, becoming its master would not be so far-fetched.

Even though the Dark Lord was not really in the Manor, she never felt any safer in it. Most of the times she hardly left her room. The only other room, she visited was the library and as often as she could she sneaked into the dungeons to tried to help the prisoners. Healed some of their injuries, gave them some food. Most of them begged her to free her, some even asked her to kill them. She did neither of them and simply apologized without looking them in the eyes. She did not dare to. There  was nothing she could do without endangering her family, herself and the cover as a spy. She was just somewhat relieved that she had not yet seen a corpse in the dungeons. She was not sure if she would be able to survive seeing one. The prisoners that were placed in the dungeons were mostly political enemies of Voldemort or people he did not want dead yet. People that were held for ransom. She did not dare to think about the other places where muggle-friendly wizards were held and was done to them there. Every time she left the dungeons and safely got to her room and locked herself in it, she cried herself to sleep. She just wanted this war to be over. For the Dark Lord to be gone and her life turning normal. Not living in this nightmare.

But as she thought the events could not turn any worse, she was proven wrong. Her mother had forced her to attend breakfast with her and her aunt Bellatrix. That, as was proven later, was a mistake. Her aunt had developed a dislike if not even hate towards her niece. She was furious that her master had taken a liking to this weak and pathetic child. She hardly saw any value in him. The only good trait about him was his inheritance, his blood line. But everything else was just weak. He had only disappointed their master. Had never been able to exceed any expectations, no he had done the opposite. But why had their master ordered her to not let anything befall her nephew? He even ordered her to punish those that harmed her, no matter who they are. What did he see in him? Or rather what was his plans with him that he was to be guarded as if he was something precious. The situation in the dining room escalated, as soon as Narcissa left the room. She simply wanted to check on her husband and wanted to see what he was up to. She thought that her child was safe in the presence of her sister. But she had not thought about her sister’s obsession with the Dark Lord. That her highest priority was pleasing her master.

“So, tell me, Draco” Bellatrix purred with malice, “why is our master so interested in your well-being?”

Draco swallowed heavily. She had hardly been able to eat any food. And now she felt like throwing up. She did not feel safe in the moment. She was scared. Her aunt was mad and unpredictable. There was hardly a time she ever felt safe and comfortable in the Manor. And now she was alone with a really dangerous and unstable Death Eater. Someone who did not care about anything else than Voldemort. As if he was some kind of god. Maybe he was, some Death Eaters behaved like some kind of worshipper, as if he was their saviour.

“I… I don’t know.”

Bellatrix chuckled darkly. “Really~?!”

Bellatrix stood up and slowly made her way up to her nephew. She watched Draco as if he was prey and she was a predator stalking its prey, ready to strike any moment.

As she stood beside Draco, she let hand on the back of his head. Draco flinched. As a response Bellatrix smiled in a cruel fashion. Her eyes were staring at Draco in satisfaction. She knew that the Malfoy heir felt not safe in her presence, she would even say that he felt afraid. Scared of her.

“I don’t think you’re telling the truth, my dear nephew.”

“I..I…I really don’t”

“Don’t lie!!”, Bellatrix snarled.

Her hands were suddenly pulling Draco’s hair and forcing her to stand up. Her chair fell to the ground. Bellatrix forced Draco to look her in the eyes. The blond let out a cry of pain.

Her aunt let go of Draco’s hair, but her hand did not fully leave her. Her hand gripped the blonde’s chin in a painful way. She winced in pain.

“Don’t you dare to think that I don’t know about your meetings with our Lord. You were alone with him sometimes. Not only once, but multiple times! What does our lord want you to do! You failed him every time but you’re his favourite. No one is to hurt you. And you will tell me now!”

“I.I.I don’t know. I really don’t know. Please, aunt, you’re hurting me.”

“Ohh… the poor little Malfoy heir can’t handle a bit of physical interaction. Boohoo me.”

The grip on her chin grew stronger. She felt like if her aunt was applying anymore strength her jaw was going to be crushed. She had to do something. She would not be able to heal a broken jaw. That needed some real experience in healing, something she nor her mother had. And she was not allowed to leave the Manor and there was no way any healer would ever step in the Manor.

“So, you tell me, what it is that our Lord wants from you. What’s so special about you?!?! What do you have that I don’t! I have never disappointed him! I have and will give him everything! Unlike you!! And there is no way our Lord would be interested in such a pathetic shit like you! You might be pretty, but our Lord is above such desires and he would never be a shirt lifter. So, You. Better. Tell. Me. The. Truth!”

Tears of pain were rolling down her cheeks. But these seem to only trigger her aunt in a more raging fit.

“I..I don’t know”, Draco sobbed.

Bellatrix snarled in response and seemed to really lose it. She let go of Draco’s jaw. But soon both of her hands were wrapped around the blonde’s throat. She pushed the teenager on the table while applying pressure on the throat of her nephew. Draco struggled, or at least she tried. She tried to scratch her aunt, to kick her. But Bellatrix was stronger than Draco. And the blonde had made the extreme mistake in forgetting her wand in her room. Will this be her last mistake?

“TELL MEE!”, Bellatrix shouted.

Draco couldn’t breathe anymore. Her body was starting to panic. Her field of view was starting to blacken. And a fork was painfully digging into her back. Was that how she was going to die? Not for betraying Voldemort but simply because her aunt was jealous? Draco would love for the Dark Lord’s fancy to go to her aunt. It is not like she was asking for it! Would Potter and the rest of the Golden Trio mourn her? Would they win? Was she even important enough to be mourned by someone? At this moment Draco felt that she had for a long time not felt truly loved by someone. Not even by her parents. She more felt like she was an obligation, a means to an end, the heir to continue on their lineage. Not a product created out of love, but of necessity. What a sad way to leave this world.

But before the blackness was fully filling her view, there was a shout.

“Bella!!! What are you doing! Get away from Draco!”

And then the pressure of her throat was gone. She slipped form the table and landed on the floor on her knees and hands and coughed. She coughed and tried to get some air back in her body. To fill her body with life that was once again flowing through her system. She was alive.

She did not notice the fighting between her mother and aunt. She had no idea what was really going on. She was still trying to get her breathing to normal. Her throat simply hurt so much. Her whole body was shaking. Suddenly she was pulled to her feet. Her mother was dragged out of the dining room. As she looked up, she saw that her aunt was no longer in the room. Her mother forcefully pushed her in her room.

“Don’t leave this room. Don’t answer the door. I will ward it. And only I will be able to get in. Stay in here!”

And then the door was closed again. Draco felt like in a daze. She simply stared at the door for some more minutes. Did all this really happen? Had her aunt really tried to kill her? Because she was jealous of Draco being the Dark Lord’s ‘favourite’? She tried to touch her throat to make sure it really happened. And as soon as her hand made contact with the abused skin, she winced in pain. It had really happened. She was nearly killed by her own aunt, by her family, in her family house.

Before she could try to process what was really going on with everything, she heard how someone cleared his throat. Hastily, she turned around. There was a stranger in her room!

She had done another mistake besides forgetting her wand in her room. Mentioned wand was sitting on the desk beside the stranger. But no, she had forgotten that she had left her window open to let in some fresh air. And she had not thought about warding her windows. Only her door. Was today the day that she will pay for her mistakes? How could she be so careless?  


	12. The stranger

There was a stranger in her bedroom. Someone she had never seen in her entire life. He leaned, causally, on her desk that was situated in front of her open window. Her wand laid just beside this man. Draco stood frozen on her spot. She was startled and shocked. Her back pushed at the door and her hand was on the handle of it. But it was futile! Her mother had warded her room so that no one than her could enter or leave this room through the door. And she did not even have her wand with her, so she could neither really defend herself nor dismantle the wards. She was trapped. The adrenaline was rising in her, she hardly felt the throbbing of her throat. But panic was also starting to get a hold of her. If she got an anxiety or panic attack, everything would be over. She would have no means, not even her mind to defend herself. Her eyes were starting to lose focus.

“Calm down, Draco. I am your friend,” said the stranger in a melodic voice. It sounded bewitching. She knew that every human had their own special individual voice, no one sounded like someone else, but still… This man’s voice was definitely different. He was different.

“F…F…Friend?”, Draco croaked.

The stranger smiled. He did not try to approach her. As if he knew that she was in a state of emergency. If he came closer, she would panic. So, he stayed where he was.

“Yes, I am a friend. I am _your_ friend.”

Draco closed her eyes. She breathed in and out. Tried to calm herself, somewhat. Tried to suppress the shivering of her body.

“Are you… Did Potter send you?”

This was a high risk. She talked of Potter’s name without even really thinking about it. She was too afraid to name the Order of the Phoenix but in her carelessness,  she spoke of the Dark Lord’s greatest enemy. Something that was worse than simply talking about the Order. If he was a Death Eater or someone allied with the dark side, she was doomed. Maybe he was someone who pitied her. Or someone who knew of her special status to the Dark Lord and wanted to use her trust so that he might rise in ranks. But now, she implied that she had some sort of connection with Potter! How could she be so stupid!

“Please, calm down. I am your friend. And no, no one called Potter send me. I came out of my own intention. Because you need help. Because you need a friend”

She chuckled humourlessly. “A friend? Why should I trust you! And why are you in my room. If you want me to believe, leave! Leave and don’t come back. I have no idea who you are, but you better leave. I know some dark curses that you have never heard or read of. So, you better piss off!”

She starred at him furiously. How dare this man to simply invade her private room. The longer she starred, the surer she was that he was no Death Eater. She had always had a certain affinity in sensing magic. She had been surrounded by it all her life. And no dark magic or residual of it was enveloping him. Something that was around all Death Eaters, because of their Dark Marks. Some magic of the Dark Lord was after all left in their skin and therefore part of their magical signature. Part of hers now as well. But if he was from the light side and Potter had not send him, how and why was he here? Only the Golden Trio now knew of her identity as a spy, no one else. Why would someone else try to help her by invading the Manor, one of the most dangerous places? Most of the Death Eaters and even Voldemort himself were inhabiting this place! How mad must he be!

“I am sorry, but I will not, as you put it, ‘piss off’. I am here to help you as you once helped me. I am your friend. You can trust me. I am in your debt. Therefore, I will help you.”

Draco frowned. “What are you talking about? I have never seen you in my life! So, I have never helped you. I don’t know how you could have confused me with someone else, as not many people have such pale hair as me, but you must have. But it’s okay as long as you finally leave and never come back.”

The stranger shook his head. “No. I never forget the face, aura and magical signature of a being that helped me.”

“Aura? What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

As she looked into his eyes, she felt like they were familiar. His dark eyes had a greenish hue. Hadn’t she seen such eyes before?

She could not place where she had seen them before. But before she could think about it, he pulled his tunic down to bare his left part of his chest. Draco’s immediate reflex was to blush. She spluttered. “W.What are you doing?!”

The man chuckled at her reaction. “Do you see the mark?”

Frowning she watched the part of his skin that he freed to show her while still blushing. She had seen men half naked. She had lived in the boy’s dormitory all her life in Hogwarts. But she had always tried to avoid it. She either took a shower really early or late in the day to avoid getting caught. And it felt not appropriate showering with the other boys, even though she was wearing a glamour. She was still a girl inside. And felt rather like some closet pervert, had she done otherwise.

The mark or rather the tattoo that he wanted to show her, was that of a bird. Not any kind of bird. It looked like a parrot. The more she starred at it, the more steps she took towards this man. It did not look like any parrot. She was not definitely sure, but she could swear that it looked like glossy black cockatoo, just like her Ruby, her somewhat pet, her friend. What was also shocking that the tattoo was red. And Draco could be mistaken but she thought that the red was the same shade as were Ruby’s tail feathers.

“What?”

And suddenly the man transformed. There was no man any longer standing in front of her but her parrot friend, Ruby! Once again, frozen, Draco starred at the bird. Her mouth was opened in shock. Her somewhat childhood friend had never been a simple parrot, but an animagus! Why had she never thought about it? This was the reason why it was a glossy black cockatoo, a bird whose original homeland was Australia. There would have been no other logical reason why such a bird was living in England. She felt stupid. And betrayed. Someone that she had thought of as a simple friend, even though it was simply a bird, had not been what she thought it was. Why had he disguised himself? And had everything been a plan to gain her trust? What kind of master plan was it that he even approached her as a young child? She took some steps back.

The animagus transformed back into a human. “Don’t. I am not your enemy. I have always been your friend. You don’t have to distrust me. Believe me.”

Something in his voice made her believe him. He simply sounded so honest. Like he was unable to lie. She decided to let him talk before she decided what to do next. Her back was once again pressed on the door.

“Was everything a trick? Were you never injured?” Draco wanted to know.

The man shook his head. “Nothing had ever been a plan or a trick. I had been injured because I had been to sure of myself. I had not been able to transform back because of the injury and pain. I am most grateful to you for caring for me. I might have ended dead by some predators. And in the time, we spend together, I felt something akin to companionship, friendship for you. And I felt it time that I might help you and repay my debt. To repay my dues is the way of my people.”

“The way of your people? Are you an unregistered animagus?” Draco wanted to know. There were not many people known to be an animagus. And the way the talked about his ‘people’ sounded strange to Draco.

“I am not really an animagus. Shifting my form is a part of myself. A part of my people.”

“There you go again ‘your people’! Who are they?!

The man chuckled at her impatience. “I am no human.”

“What?!” Draco starred at him. And she felt once again stupid because of her ignorance. She really has to work at her observation skills. She had been so distracted by his mere presence and the panic she had felt by a stranger invading her private space, she had ignored everything around her. The more she looked, the more unhuman-like he looked. He was a dark-skinned person, his dark skin even had blueish undertones and he had long dreadlocks that he wore in a plait. He wore simple green tunic and beige trousers. He wore no shoes or any kind of jewellery. Something that were out of the ordinary were his ears. They were not like those of humans, they pointed. And his face was that of an extremely handsome man with his dark eyes that seemed to shimmer green and his finely sculpted facial features. He was unnatural pretty, unhuman. And he was at least a head taller than her. Was he…?

“I am of the fae.”

Once again, panic was settling inside her. Her breathe was entering and leaving her body faster than was normal. If he was of the fae than he was more dangerous than any kind Death Eater, maybe even the Dark Lord himself.

“Don’t panic and don’t worry. I will not hurt you.”

She did not even dare to blink. One wrong movement and her life might be forfeited. The fae sighed. He took her wand went to her, stopped a few steps away from her and hold out her wand, handle first. She starred into her eyes. “Take it.”

While still trembling, she took it. Immediately she felt safer. She was no longer defenceless. But she would have no chance against a fae. A being older than any other magical being. And they were known to be extremely powerful. They were believed to live in exclusion and hardly interacted with humans. It was often believed that they may even live in a different dimension, they perceive time differently. And it had been centuries since the last recording of fae sightings. Or human might not have survived it or had been taken. Every recording warned of the fae. It was always best to avoid old magical forest. Deep in them these beings lived. Draco had not thought that they were real. That they were fairy tales, just like the Deathly Hollows. If you meet a fae and earned their resentment you were known to not survive. Or even your whole lineage. If you were cursed by one of the fae your whole existence may be erased. And they were not known to be patient or benevolent beings. They did things out of their own interest, or to no longer be bored. One moment they may like you and the next they might hex you enslave you for eternity. And now Draco was in the presence of such a being. She swallowed.

A sad look seemed to cross the fae’s face. “You don’t have to worry. You know that fae don’t lie. It does not lay in our blood. But we do like to talk in riddles if we’re in contact with mortals. But this is not why I am here. I am here because I am your friend and I won’t hurt you. And I won’t kidnap you. You don’t have to worry; I am Ruby after all.”

He tried to smile encouragingly. She knew that fae do not lie but she was still scared. He was after all an ancient powerful magical being.

“If you don’t believe me, in an act of benevolence I will tell you my true name.”

“Don’t!”

“I mean… ehm. Please don’t do it. I’ve read how powerful such a thing is. And I don’t want to bring the wrath of any fae to me or my family. And especially with the Dark Lord living here. Who knows what he will do with the knowledge of the true name of a fae? I… If you’re truly Ruby and have no bad intentions… I won’t need it. I will… trust you.”

The fae smiled and put out his hand. He was waiting for her to reach out for his hand. Hesitantly, she took his hand in his to shake it. To formally greet each other. As soon as she touched his hand, a shiver went through her body. His whole body was enveloped in a strange unknown magic. A simple touch seemed to bewitch her. She felt dazed. And she instantly knew that she either had to build up a certain resistance to it or she would better avoid touching him. She was afraid what she might do if she will stay bewitched to it. What he might ask of her once he no longer felt benevolent. She now knew that it was better not to expect for people or any other beings to stay friendly towards her.

“I like the name Ruby, but you can also call me Lorcan.”

“I’m… My name is Draco”

Lorcan smiled broadly.


	13. The fae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the nice comments~  
> You're the best!!! *_*

They shortly shook hands. And now she was staring at this dark-skinned elf. There had been a time some years ago in which she had been really fascinated by magical creatures. She had read lots of books about them like Newt Scamander’s work but also some folklore that talked about possible creatures that might or might not exist or were extinct. Tales about faes were rare. She knew that it was not known whether they were real. Some hundreds of years ago there had been some interactions between humans and faes, but those recordings were now not seen as real facts but more like fairy tales. These encounters had been rare and there was no real proof that they had been real. But it was known that they apparently were beings that were powerful, seemed to be those beautiful beings that might turn violent if you either annoy, try to trick them or even betray them. Some pureblood families had some old family curses that befell the certain family members or even heir of a certain generation. Some of those curses were harmless and some were fatal. Depending on what wrong your ancestor had done to them. But some fae were also known to be benevolent and committed some miracles, like turning an infertile woman or man fertile again, curing a chronical disease, helping someone who was in mortal danger. But it is always important to note that faes never do anything out of the good of their heart. They always asked for something in return. And if you accept their trade and will not upheld it, death would be the easiest solution. But even if you took your life to avoid your part of the trade, the fae will get their trade. They will not follow you in the afterlife, but everyone has family or at least someone they were close to who would need to pay your dues. It was also speculated that the fae had such an ancient magic that they might even be able to erase someone’s whole identity. That was something only them would know because no one would be able to remember it were it the case. It was also speculated that they were one of the most ancient magical creatures to ever walk the earth. And there were also the rumours about the changelings…

Draco felt awkward just starring at Lorcan. HE simply smiled at her without moving a muscle. The longer she starred at him, the more dazed she felt. She did not feel that comfortable. She now knew that he was Ruby, but he felt more like a stranger than a friend. The weight of the wand in her hand let her feel not that safe. The fae had given it to her to make her feel safer but it was all only a farce. If he decided to attack her there was no way that she would be able to defend herself. He might look just a few years older than her, but he was most likely older than anybody she knew. And he was more powerful than her. She could feel the ancient magic radiating from him. She hoped that none of the Death Eaters would sense anything and try to get here. This was not something she needed now. Not after everything that happened today.

She closed her eyes and took some deep breathes. Best is that she uses this opportunity and asked him some questions. And maybe try to get to know what he actually wanted. Why he decided to appear in his fae self now. Did he not sense all the dark magic residing in the manor? Or did he simply not care? And what was his take and that of the faes in the upcoming war? If they decided to team up with the Dark Lord everyone would be doomed. She hoped not…

“Is… Is it okay if I ask you some questions?” Draco asked while still standing at the door. She tried to relax herself but the whole situation made her feel more anxious.

“Sure” the fae replied while still smiling. He had a really pretty smile but his whole being was that of pure beauty.

“I… Do all fae turn into animals?”

Lorcan chuckled. “Not all but most. Depending on where they are from. There are lots of different types of fae. Some look really human and some more like goblins. Some are more in tune with nature and have taken on a role of a spirit or guardian of a certain area. They cannot be separated from their home if they are too connected to each other. But my type of fae do turn into animals. They are a personification of your soul. And I had always been somewhat of a free spirit.”

“Different type of fae? So, they all look different? None like you?”

Lorcan nodded. “Yeah of course. What living being does look exactly the same than another? That’s not the way of life. Every living being is special and individual. Not only humans or wizards.”

He had lost his smile and was just looking at her. She stepped from one foot to another. She really hoped that she had not committed a blunder. That might turn bad for her.

“I…I’m sorry. I don’t want to insult you… It’s just…. I never even knew that fae were real. I am sorry if I may say something that will sound rude. Sorry…”

He chuckled again. But did not move from his place at her desk. As if he knew that she would feel threatened if he moved any closer.

“Ask away.”

“I… I read some texts about fae some years ago… And they were always described as fair skinned people… but you are…”

He laughed out loud. “Of course, there are also different coloured fae! But unlike humans we don’t judge ourselves according to our looks. Birth and power are deciding factors, but this is not something we will discuss now. We don’t have that much time and I will have to return. But there are lots of dark fae. My mother is a  fae from Africa, one of the Aziza.”

Draco nodded. “And… why is your animag… animal form a parrot from Australia?”

“Well… our animal form doesn’t always correspond with our homeland. The first centuries of my life I lived in Australia with my father and I had always been envious of bird flying freely in the sky. With the begin of my maturity I developed my shifting, a parrot.”

Draco frowned. She had thought that he might be old but centuries…

“C…C…Centuries?” Draco squeaked.

Lorcan chuckled in correspond to her reaction. “Well, Draco, it’s quite rude to ask a gentleman of his age.”

She swallowed. She noticed that he tried to turn her questions into light-hearted banter, but she thought it best to be cautious. He was after all a powerful magical creature.

“I… I… Why have you come? Why are you here… Now?”

His face turned serious. “I thought it was time to visit you. And I always thought of you as somewhat of a companion. You saved my life and therefore I am in your debt. The most precious thing a fae can possess beside his magic is life. And as you saved mine, I am in your debt. But the time we spend together, I enjoyed a lot. I like you. And humans are just really interesting. You have such short lives but try to so many things. And it’s been forever since I last interacted with humans and so much has changed. We hardly interact with humans as most faes despise them. And it’s better to keep our worlds separated. Some fae intermingle with humans but every child of such a union will be taken depending on their magic and fae trait that they inherited. They would not thrive in a human world. But once I visited, I could feel a shift in the magic in your home. And you seem so… unlucky. Some dark times lay ahead of you.”

She decided not to comment about fae taking their half-faeish children. She was sure that might anger him.

“Dark times? Are you… can you see the future? Are you a seer?”

“Not a seer per se. But more like a premonition.”

“You…. You said that you’re in my debt… Can’t you … help with the Dark Lord?”

He looked at her and a sad look crossed his eyes. He shook his head.

“No, that’s not possible. I am not allowed to infer with such happening. It would influence the happenings too much in your favour. Interference in the human world will never end well and the High Lady forbid to get involved in such human events. That is your war to fight. Not ours. Not mine. I can’t help you. Even if I wanted to.”

“B… But…” Draco had to suppress a sob. There was a powerful ally but because of whatever rules, he was not allowed to. Who cared about such rules! She was not that important enough after all… even though he claimed that they were somewhat of friends. Apparently not really.

He stepped closer. “I can understand that you’re angry. But some things are not to be done. They would interrupt the balance too much. And someone is already destined for that man.”

Potter’s face flashed through her mind.

Lorcan stood in front of her. He put his fingers below her chin and made her look at him. She starred in his dark eyes. But this time she felt not dazed. She felt disappointed. Just when she thought that they might have an advantage fate seemed to play its tricks. She glared at him. At this moment, she really did not care that he might be a fae capable of obliterating the whole manor. He touched her bruises at her throat. Left by her aunt. Not that long ago. She had nearly forgotten about the bruise and throbbing of them because of the turn of those events. She flinched when he touched them.

“I could erase them. Heal them.”

She slapped his hands away and starred him dead in the eyes.

“No thanks.”

She replied spontaneously and out of defiance. But later on, she was content that she did not choose to accept his offer. She could not put a glamour on them since her magic was rather depleted at the moment. All this dark magic surrounding the manor seemed to influence her in a bad way. And would have needed to add another layer of her glamour and that might her original glamour. And who knows how her aunt would react not seeing the bruises. Well… as long as the Dark Lord did not see them. But he was hardly there, so they might heal before he returned. Or he might even praise his favourite loyal Death Eater. Her aunt might tease her and call her names but hopefully would refrain to attack her. She hoped that her mother would make sure that they were never alone. She had put her after all in her room for her protection.

Lorcan chuckled and made his way to the window.

“I see that you rather want to be left alone. Don’t worry, I will be near. I will pay my due.”

He shifted into his black parrot form, croaked and left with beats of its wings. A black feather was left on the desk.

“Freakish fae. Just stay where you came from. If you don’t wanna help, don’t bother coming back” Draco mumbled.

She went to her window, closed it loudly and put a ward on it. The longer she stayed the more adrenaline was finally leaving her system. The throbbing of her throat turned more and more intense. She went to her side table and looked for the cream that she had used for her scars to put it on the bruises. She felt them. But she did not dare to look in the mirror. After she was finished, she let herself fall on her bed. And once again, tears were leaving her eyes. And like most of the days, she fell asleep while she cried. She hoped that there might come a time that she simply fell asleep because her day was too exhausting and not because of the hopelessness that her live has become. 


	14. Meeting in the dungeons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is she still alive? Yes, she is.   
> Sorry for the late update.

Since the fall of the ministry into Voldemort’s hands, many things have changed. Especially for muggleborn wizards. Halfbloods were being pursued and if you do not submit to the Dark Lord or his underlings, you were in trouble. Might even be shipped off to Azkaban and at worse times even tortured or killed. Without any consequences for the culprit. Some children whose parents were muggles were not allowed to return to Hogwarts. Especially with Severus Snape acting as the headmaster. Now, that it was known that he killed Dumbledore and was a Death Eater. It was rather unsafe for wizards with muggle roots. Harry Potter was declared Undesirable number one and even Hermione Granger was on the interrogation list. Death Eaters were looking all over for the Golden Trio. There was hardly any contact between Draco and Harry Potter and his friends through their enchanted notebooks. Draco had not been allowed to return to Hogwarts and had been forced into her rooms by order of Lord Voldemort. Only her parents were allowed to visit her. She was only allowed to leave her room for the library where she spent most of her time. The Dark Lord hardly bothered her. He was to busy hunting for this archenemy, Harry Potter.

She was in the library in search of something that might help in the defeat of the Dark Lord. But so far, she had only found lots of dark spells. Lorcan did not visit her either. She thought that she had seen his parrot form a few times but seeing as he did not get near the manor, she could not be sure of that fact. She also tried to get any kind of information that might help the light side, but nowadays most things were discussed without her being allowed near such meetings. She was mostly left alone. The only information that she had shared in the notebook with Harry was that Voldemort put a taboo on his name. They were not allowed to say his name out loud.

Voldemort had not punished Bellatrix for injuring Draco. He had not reacted to that fact at all. Most likely, it did not matter to him, as long as she was alive, and her aunt was a too important ally to punish for such a meagre deed.  And he was too busy in creating and establishing his new regime in the wizarding world.

It was sometime in the early of October that Harry suddenly wrote in the notebook.

_He left. He fucking left us. That freaking git! I can’t believe it. Now when we need him the most._

_Who left?_

_Ron._

Again, the Weasel. When Potter needed him the most, he simply left. Just like when Potter’s name came out of the goblet of fire. What a righteous heretic!

_Don’t worry, Potter. He just probably needs some time to let out some steam. There is no way that he will not return to you. After all, you three are joined by the hip. He will experience some serious withdrawal symptoms._

_There is only one I can trust to be always the same. And that’s you._

_Thanks Potter. You might be the saviour, but you will always be a git._

_Thanks._

_I’ve hardly got any new news. Except it seems he is looking for something._

_What? What is he looking for?_

_I think it is a wand. He took my father’s. But apparently that one is gone as well._

_Ok. Thanks._

_Don’t get captured and don’t do anything stupid._

_Yeah, yeah. You stay safe too._

 

It was only in December that things got really heated. Potter and the rest of his Golden Trio had nearly gotten captured. And apparently the Weasel was back with them. Voldemort and his Death Eater captured more people and imprisoned them in the dungeons of the Malfoy Manor. Hardly any one really took care of the prisoners. At least the got new water and food twice a day by a Death Eater. Draco was not kept under surveillance anymore. She was allowed to walk freely in the Manor. Something she hardly did. She was rather scared of the Death Eaters, especially the werewolf, Greyback. He always looked at her as if he was about to jump onto her and bite her. Even though she had her wand with her, she felt not safe. She was not that strong at the moment. The dark magic that was circulating around in the manor was putting a strain on her. Especially with maintaining her glamour. She was rather weakened by all of it. Her mental strength was also deteriorating. She was only hoping that this war will not go on forever. She would not have the strength for it. She hardly had any true allies with whom she could talk about all her worries.

But she also knew now was not the time to think about such struggles. A few days later, after the last capture was taken, she went downstairs into the dungeons.  To a time in which she knew no one except the prisoners were in the dungeons. And her aunt was out today. And in the last few weeks hardly any Death Eaters were in the Manor. Most were too busy with assignments given by the Dark Lord. Still, she took care so that no one saw her walking down to the dungeons. She opened the old door made out of wood. It was not even locked. Slowly, she opened the door. She casted a non-verbal spell so the door would not make any noise and alert anyone in the house. She squinted downstairs. No lights were on. Hardly any noise was coming from downstairs. That means no one was with the prisoners. She closed the door and, once again, casted a spell that would alert her if someone was nearing the door. Such little spells were alright with her magical core and did not weaken her much. Especially since she hardly used any kind of magic. Except for her glamour. As she neared the cells, she saw that were less people in there than she thought. She did not know many of them. The wandmaker Ollivander was still there, so also some students from Hogwarts, Thomas and Lovegood. But also, the auror Kingsley.

“Malfoy”, hissed Thomas.

“Thomas”, Draco simply replied.

The old wandmaker groaned. “Ah, it is the young Malfoy. You haven’t been down here for some time.”

As she looked at him, she saw that he looked worse than a few weeks ago. Those cells were not made for long-time imprisonment, especially for an elder like Ollivander.

“It... It was not safe.”

Thomas simple grunted. “What are you even here for? Want to torture us yourself? Want to make fun of us!? How we simply deserve being here?!”

Draco rolled with her eyes and groaned.

“Can you please shut up?! No one is supposed to know that I am down here. And if you shout so much, people will know. And then Death Eater will come and then it won’t be pretty for any of us.”

Dean glared at her but did not say anything more.

“Draco you don’t look so well”, said the dreamy voice of Luna Lovegood.

She looked like she could not be bothered. It really seemed like nothing could happen to her that would make her lose her face. She was really impressive.

“I have something for all of you”, Draco declared.

And just a few moments later, blankets, candles, matchboxes, some food and water were in their cells.

“Make sure that the next guard does not see them. Hide them in the counters.”

“Thanks”, muttered Thomas.

She looked at them while they distributed the goods and made sure that the old wandmaker was positioned in a comfortable way.

“Kingsley, I have to talk with you.”

The wizard nodded even if he mistrusted the whole situation. He walked towards the bars to one side where no one was. He felt like that what Malfoy wanted to talk about was rather private.

“I work as a spy”, Draco simply declared blandly.

“What?!”, Kingsley was taken aback.

“I don’t really have much time. I feed Potter important information so that he knows what you-know-who is up to. And I try to boycott the Death Eater as much as I can. Well and I hope that Potter will defeat this psycho, but I need a guarantee. And it is most likely that you will either become Headauror or Minister. And I am a marked Death Eater. I want you to swear that you will help me and my family to not end up in Azkaban or executed.”

Kingsley just starred at her.

“I… what…”

She simply looked at him. Waiting for his answer.

He cleared his throat.

“I can help you not ending in Azkaban. And probably your mother. But your father is the right-hand man of Voldemort. If he kills someone or tortures them, there will be no saving. Your marking will be seen as a sacrifice, it will demonstrate how dedicated you are to your role as a spy.”

“Don’t worry about my father. He fell from his good graces in the eyes of the Dark Lord. He is always running around and doing some lesser assignments or regulating the ministry’s money.”

After a short discussion, Kingsley and Draco agreed to a simple Wizarding vow.

“Don’t break your vow. I know that we did not make an Unbreakable Vow but even a broken Wizarding vow will have dire consequences.”

“I know. And I won’t. After all you will have the help of Harry Potter helping you out.”

Draco smirked. “And who can say no to the hero?”

She turned around and walked up the stairs.

“Kingsley what did Malfoy want?”, Dean wanted to know.

But the dark-skinned wizard simply shook his head. “We will receive help where we least expect it.”

 

 


	15. Even you will have to suffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be violence and a bit of torture in this chapter. Not explicitly shown. Just a warning. If this is not your cup of tea, just skip the chapter.

The year ended and the Dark Lord was still creating havoc all around Great Britain. But according to Potter, the Golden Trio had once again destroyed another horcrux. At least one good thing was happening. The Dark Lord had returned a few times and every time he looked at her in sinister way.

It was already march. Draco was, like most of the days, in the library. She was thinking of a way to weaken Voldemort. If Potter could not defeat him, someone else had to do it. She might be able to come close to him. But she was in no way magically capable of casting the killing curse or any other kind of curse that might weaken him. But… He was still a human. Or something alike. He still had a human vessel. She might be able to weaken that. Maybe she could create a poison strong enough to weaken him, so that anybody else might be capable of killing him. The solution to their problem seemed to easy. He wanted an heir from her, so he had to get close to her. And there was no way he would be suspicious of her. For him she was after all just this weak girl that was simply a coward and followed his every command. She smirked. Creating a poison would no big deal. But the how and where would be important. What kind of plant would be the best base and how should she give it to him? She had not seen the Dark Lord eat or drink anything. So, there will not be a possibility that she might give him something to eat or drink. She could maybe infuse it in a weapon. Like a dagger. That was something that Voldemort would not expect. And what more hilarious way for him to go down than with the help of a muggle weapon.

Happily, she jumped out of her chair, to turn around and to look for the section for potions with poison. But as soon as she turned, she felt a presence behind her. It was one of dark magic, of sinister property and pure evil. She stood in front of Voldemort. Quickly, she lowered her eyes.

“My lord. I did not know that you were back”, Draco began meekly.

“Yessss, I am back. Sssome dissssturbing thingsss have come to my… attention…., my dear.”

Draco shuttered. She was disgusted by him calling her “dear”. She did not want to be close to him in any kind of way that would ensure him in calling her something like that.

“I… My lord?”

He walked around her. From the left side to right side. In a slowly matter. Only to stand in front of her once again.

He put his cold and naked finger on her chin, so that she was forced to lift her eyes and to stare directly into his cold and murderous eyes. A dangerous glint laid in them. Something was wrong.

“I am rather disappointed in you, my dear.”

She could not suppress a shiver. “I… My lord, I am sorry for displeasing you…”

He grunted. “As you should be.”

His grip tightened. It began to hurt as his cold and sharp fingernails bored into her flesh. She could feel how they were cutting her flesh. And soon blood would flow down his fingers.

“I knew that you were weak, but such a weakling.”

She did not dare to answer, in fear she might anger him anymore and as a consequence he might crush her jaw. She would not be able to mend it herself and she would most likely become unconscious from the pain.

“You had to go and betray me. What a disappointment.”

Does he know? Does he know that she is a spy? Does he know that she wants Potter to win and him to fail?

“You had to go and take pity on these prisoners, didn’t you?”

Draco had to supress a breath of relief. He might see it and start to question her. It was alright if he thought that she was simply weak and wanted to help the prisoners. What would he do? She did not think that he might her hurt much.

“But it is a pity that I don’t care about compassion. I think it is time that I teach you a lesson. Or else you might get some stupid ideas in that pretty head of yours, _Lyra_.”

But before she could reply or defend herself, a resounding bang was heard. An enormous pain was flowing through Draco. She found herself on the floor. It seemed like the whole world was dancing. Her eyes could not focus. He had slapped her so hard that fell. She could fell how blood was flowing in her mouth. She had accidently bitten one of her cheeks.

But before she could orientate herself. He pulled her hair.

She cried out loud in pain. And then he was pulling her through the library.

She tried to loosen his grip on her hair. But he only gripped harder.

She could do nothing but cry. And he pulled her out of the library.

He still pulled her by the hair and continued to walk.

And then she was her parents. Her father was holding her mother while she cried.

“Please my lord. Not my child. Sh..He didn’t know any better. Please….”

But Voldemort only laughed. “Well, then it is time that I punish her so that dear Draco will not make the same mistake.”

“Mama…”, Draco croaked.

Narcissa’s eyes widened. She tried to get away from her husband to get to her child, to her daughter. She needed her. She needed to get her away from here. But her husband continued to hold her.

“Narcissa”, he whispered forcefully. She continued to cry while her daughter was dragged into the dungeons. She sobbed into the chest of her husband.

While the whole time, Beatrix was laughing out loud. Her resounding laughter was heard in the whole manor.

The Dark Lord was pulling her now down the stairs. She was more falling down the stairs than walking them down. The inmates cried in shock. Most of them had not seen Voldemort in life. But he ignored them. He stopped in front of a cell right next to the one where Kingsley, Lovegood, Thomas and the others were placed. He opened the cell door wandless. And pushed Draco in. She fell on the dark and cold floor. She felt like she was about to lose her consciousness.

The Dark Lord clicked with his tongue. “You’re such a sorry excuse for a pureblood.”

She was getting angry instead of scared. She had no idea where all this rage was coming from. But she felt like she could not stand it anymore. All these repressed feelings. And then he had come and humiliated her. By dragging her by her hair, simply because she helped people getting comfortable in their cells. Why could this bastard not simply fall dead. She wanted to live her life like she wanted to and not how some psychopath wanted her. There was no way in hell she would let him come close to her, so that he could father her children, simply because of his pureblood-bullshit dream. She had enough.

As he knelt down to her, to push her hair out of her face, she spit. She spit him right on his left cheek. A thread of bloodied saliva was trailing down his cheek. He cleaned it of wandless.

He chuckled. “It seems like there is still some fight left in you.”

He stood up and observed her. She glared at him. He pulled out his wand. Her eyes did not waver. She did not care. Even if he killed her now. He would have to do so while looking her in the eyes. She did not want to die as a coward.

But she was not to be killed. He lifted his wand and his lips already formed the spell.

_“Crucio!”_

She cried in agony. It was like multiple daggers were cutting into her flesh. There was nothing she could do but cry and shout in pain. Even if the spell only last for a short time, the victim feels it longer. She was still crying and twitching while Voldemort locked her in the cell and was about to leave but then he heard her whisper: “You monster.”

He only chuckled. “If only you knew.”

None of the prisoners said anything. They did not know how to react. And just as the Dark Lord left the dungeons, the door was opened once again. And Bellatrix entered. With a manic smile on her face.

She opened Draco’s cell and smiled at her. “You know, dear Drakey. Our lord is really angry with you. Really.”

“You did something stupid and now he wants me to ensure that you won’t be able to cause any more trouble by walking somewhere where you’re not supposed to be.”

She giggled. And in the next moment, Draco felt another pain. In Her right ankle. Her aunt had stomped on her ankle! She shouted in pain. She had broken her ankle.

Her aunt patted Draco’s cheek. “You should know better than to betray our lord anymore. Even you are not irreplaceable. And think about your parents. Ta-ta.”

Draco could not reply. The pain was making her weaker and weaker. It made her lose consciousness. The last thing she heard was the manic laughter from her aunt as she fell into welcoming darkness where she hoped that she might not feel any pain. 


	16. Getting better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wohooo~ Three chapters in one day. I think that is fair seeing as I didn't upload for such a long time. ^^

She went in and out of consciousness for the next day. Because she was in a lot of pain, she was not able to remain awake. She felt like her body was trying to shut down, to let her consciousness not experience more pain than necessary and redirect more energy in healing. While she was awake, even for short periods of time, she was not really alert. She hardly got to know what was going on. But the bad lighting, the musty smell and the hard surface on which she was resting let her know that she was still in her cell in which the Dark Lord put her in. She closed her eyes. She felt rather lonely.

The next time she did not wake up by herself. Her mother was kneeling right next to her. As she opened her eyes, she looked into the tear-stained face of her mother. Her eyes were red, her face seemed to be older than she actually was, and her hair and clothes looked rather ruffled up. Her eyes were looking at her daughter from underneath rather dark shadows. It seemed like herself, her mother had not slept well these last few days.

As soon as her mother saw, that she was consciousness, she sighed in relief.

“My poor child”, she whispered.

Now that Draco seemed aware of it, her head was resting in the lap of her mother. She had not done so for a couple of years. The last time she rested her head on her mother’s lap was probably when she was around four or five. Many years ago. It seemed more and more like as if it had been in another lifetime. Her mother reached out to caress her face, but as soon as her hand touched her face, she flinched. Her mother froze in shock.

Memories of the Dark Lord cursing her while smiling at her cruelly and her aunt’s maniac laughter flashed through her head. She was scared.

She tried to repress the shudder that was threating to wreck her beaten body. Shouldn’t she feel safe in her mother’s embrace? Shouldn’t she feel safe and loved? The only thing she really wanted to do was to curl up in the counter of her cell and sob. She just wanted to fell no pain. She wanted to walk through the forest and run around and play with Ruby. To laugh while feeling happy. Not in this cell, being scared of everything, even the touch of her own mother. To not feel scared that her life and that of her family might be in danger. As she saw the pain in her mother’s pain, she felt sorry for her. How might she feel now that her own daughter could not stand being touched by her. By the woman who carried her inside herself for nine months.

“I…”, Draco croaked.

Her throat felt dry and unused. Her mother immediately conjured up a glass of water.

“Let me help you up, so that you can drink”, her mother spoke softly.

Her mother touched her shoulders and helped her up. She leaned Draco against herself, seeing as she was not strong enough to keep herself up. She could once again not repress the shivers that went through her body. Her mother ignored it. Her mother tried to give her the glass but seeing her hands trembling, she decided to give it her by herself.

“Here, drink slowly”, her mother brought the glass to her lips and lifted it slowly.

With greedy gulps she drowned the glass. She sacked into the embrace of her mother while soft tremors wrecked her body.

“My poor child”, her mother put her arms around her and pulled her into a hug. Her mother started to cry, all the while she gripped her daughter harder.

“I am so sorry. Please forgive me, Draco. I love you. Please…”, her mother sobbed.

“I love you so much… I always thought you would be safe here. I am so sorry. Please…”

Tears started to collect in Draco’s eyes. She tried to lift her arms to return the hug, but her arms were to weak and trebling to hard, for them to be able to lift. She gripped her mother’s dress around her hips, weakly. It was so weak her mother did not nearly realize it. But she felt the tremors around her waist. She cried harder in return. She could not believe that her own child, her baby daughter, had to go through such hardships. She always wanted her daughter to have a happy and careless life. But it seemed that was not granted.

“M…ama. I..It’s fine. I will be… ok… I still breathe, don’t I?”, Draco replied weakly.

Her mother loosened up her embrace to look into the eyes of her daughter.  

She smiled at her weakly. “Yeah. You’re really strong. Not so weak as me.”

“You…’re n…not weak”, Draco croaked before another shiver run through her body and she had to cough.

In the next moment, Draco found herself in soft beddings that felt like heaven to her bruised and beaten body. But she was still in the cell.

“I am sorry, my darling”, her mother confessed, while softy caressing her face, “the Dark Lord put an enchantment on the cell. I won’t be able to get you out. Only Bellatrix. And she won’t do it. She is jealous of your… standing in his eyes. But I will get you as comfortable as possible. And I will give you a potion for your nerves. I healed your ankle, but it is best you rest for the next few days. I will come to you as often as possible but for you to heal completely, you have to rest. And don’t worry the Dark Lord left. And he won’t come back soon. He is rather busy with the ministry and the search of the Potter boy.”

Now that her mother mentioned her ankle, it did feel better. She felt just a numb throbbing in it.

“My…My glamour?”

“It is still intact. But he knows, doesn’t he?”, she asked her daughter.

She nodded.

“Do you want me to lift it?”

She thought about it. But then she shook her head.

“F…Feel safer”

Her mother smiled sadly. She gave her daughter a peck on her cheek.

“Rest. I will come later to give you the potions.”

 

And so, a few days passed in which she tried to heal. She was not often conscious, seeing as the potions made her sleepy. She was only awake when her mother was with her in the cell. The other prisoners were rather silent during the whole time.

But then one day, there was something happening. For the first time in days, she was able to wake up by herself. Loud noise was coming from upstairs. Then the door to the dungeons were opened rather roughly and her manic aunt and the werewolf, Greyback, came through. Her aunt ripped her cell’s door opened. She flinched in return. And before she could react Greyback grabbed her roughly and shoved her out. He took her arm and pulled her outside. Her aunt was cackling the whole time. It was the first time in weeks that Draco was feeling the direct sun on her body. But there was no time to enjoy it.

She heard her mother’s cry. “Don’t touch my daughter, you beast!”

And then she found herself shoved into the dirt on her hands and knees. She cried in pain. She was not fully healed yet. But once again, before she got  to know what was going on, her aunt grabbed her head and lifted it forcefully.

“Look Draco, say is it Harry Potter!?”, her aunt wanted to know.

And as she blinked, as to get her eyes used to the bright sun, she saw something green. She looked right into familiar green eyes.


	17. Dungeons, a houseelf and some profanities

She blinked, to get her eyes used to the bright sun, she saw something green. She looked right into familiar green eyes. The face that belonged to the green eyes was not how she remembered it. It was disfigured. It was swollen in different places. Hardly anyone would be able to recognize him. But not so Draco. They had spent too much time around each other for her to not recognize him. She would always able to recognize those green emerald eyes. Those eyes starred at her in confusing, relief and fear. Would everything end now?

“I… I can’t be sure”, stammered Draco.

Bellatrix croaked angrily and let go of her and stamped over to the disfigured Potter. She pushed the man that was holding Potter away, grabbed his head and pushed his face upwards. “Look closely”, she hissed.

And then her father was right next to her. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her up.

“Look closely, my child. If we are the ones to hand Potter over to the Dark Lord… Everything will be forgiven. Think about your position, my child. Everything will be as it was, wouldn’t it? He might even grant you or us a wish. And we could wish for anything. To… To get away from here… to...”, her father whispered in her ear.

Could she be finally be free of this monster? Would he really let her go? And would Draco be capable of sacrificing Potter for her family? Wouldn’t she sacrifice the whole magical world? Only … to be free?

But Draco was sure that the Dark Lord would not let go of her. She had seen his greedy eyes looking over her body. How he had talked about this ‘pure’ heir that she would gift him. As if she would do such a thing. The whole world would need to burn for her to give herself to that thing. Her body and herself was not something she would give him willingly. And she had seen his satisfied smile, as he had cursed ‘Crucio’ on her. No, she would never be truly free of him. Not as long as he was alive.

But before she could answer, Greyback talked to her father.

“I hope, Mr. Malfoy, you haven’t forgotten who actually caught the boy. You wouldn’t dare to take my trophy, would you?”

“How dare you talk to me like that in my own home!”

In the next moment her aunt was in front of her, taking her hand. Her whole body shivered. She could still hear the crack of her ankle, feel the dazzling pain and hear Bellatrix’ manic laughter. She never wanted to be touched by this woman again.

“Come here, sweetie. Look at his face and tell me: Is it Potter? If we call him and it is not him, he will kill us all, we need to be absolutely sure. So. Tell. Me. Is. That. Potter?!”

“I…”, she looked at the boy’s eyes, at Potter’s eyes, “What happened to his face?”

“yeah, what happened to his face?! Was it you? Well, we’ll see how long the spell will last, won’t we?”, cackled Bellatrix and walked to the other snatchers.

Her mother touched her shoulder and helped her up. She grabbed her daughter’s hand. And in the next moment, it seemed like Bellatrix was going crazy. She attacked the snatcher and stood in front of Hermione. Draco had not really realized that the rest of the Golden Trio was present as well. She had been too busy being shocked that Harry Potter was in her home, in the Dark Lord’s headquarter.

“Cissy, put our dear boys in the cellar. I want to have a little conversation with this girl. Girl to girl.”

But before her mother could hand off Potter and Weasel to Pettigrew so that they will also be put in the dungeons, Draco stepped in front of Hermione.

“This is not your home. How dare you command my mother around. You’re a guest in the ancient home of the noble Malfoys. And you’re what? You’re simply the Dark Lord’s little whore!”

A shocking silence went through the area. And a resounding bang was heard. Her aunt had slapped her. So hard that she, once again, found herself on the floor. She had hardly any strength left to hold herself up.

“Oh my, has our itsy-bitsy Malfoy heir acquired a backbone? How precious…”, cackled Bellatrix evil.

“Bellatrix! Don’t you dare and touch my child!”, shrieked Narcissa, only to be hold back by her husband.

Her sister only laughed. “Don’t worry, I won’t do much to little Draco. Our Lord has forbidden that more harm will come to him. Greyback, put my nephew back in his cell. And I will have some fun with this little girl.”

Greyback grabbed her on her neck.

“Don’t you dare think that I am scared of you Bellatrix!”, Draco shouted and spitted on her aunt’s shoes, “You better look over your shoulder twice!!”

“Oh my… How vulgar. It seems like our little Malfoy heir went a little bit crazy in her cell…”, croaked Bellatrix.

And soon she was pulled away back to her cell. As soon as Greyback entered her cell, she was pushed onto her beddings. But he did not leave yet.

“You know Malfoy, if you continue misbehaving the Dark Lord might gift you to me. I have to say, you smell simply…. Divine”, Greyback smirked.

Draco glared at him. “Hell has to freeze over before I let you come near me.”

Greyback only continued to smirk and locked her cell. He left the dungeons.

Draco let herself back on her bedding. She felt like she was about to faint. She felt sick. As if she was about to throw up. She was not yet healed and back to her old strength. She hardly heard what was going on in the other cells.

As soon as her senses returned  to her somewhat, she could hear cries. Cries of pain. Someone was being tortured. Someone female. Hermione. And as she turned around, she saw Pettigrew grapping the goblin.

And then Potter was pulling at the bars of her cell.

“What happened, Malfoy? Why are you in the cell? Is that why you haven’t answered? Do they know? What happened to you?!”, Potter blurted out.

Draco smiled. “You know, daily things. Being tortured, getting your ankle broken, nothing to worry about. And don’t worry they don’t know. I am here because I gave Lovegood and the others some food and so on. And I really hate my aunt, so there is that.”

“Malfoy, are freaking insane? How can you laugh in a situation like that?!”, Harry shouted.

“Urgh, Potter, my head. Please keep it down.”

“You know Harry, sometime events will simply turn to better because you laugh about them”, answered the dream-like voice of Luna Lovegood.

 

And then Harry turned around to see who actually was down here. While Ron was still trying to open the door to get to Hermione. “We have to help Hermione! We have to rescue her! Oh Merlin! That woman will kill her!”

 

And as if he was waiting for his big entrance, Dobby appeared. The little houseelf seemed like their hero in a hopeless situation. Maybe he was the actual hero. The true saviour of the magical world, a houseelf. Draco snorted. Maybe she did bump her head harder on the floor than she initially thought. After all, those thoughts were not normal for her.

 

“Dobby has come to rescue Harry Potter, of course”, declared the former Malfoy houseelf proudly, “Dobby will always be there for Harry Potter.”

 

How cute, Draco thought, a love confession from a houseelf. She snorted again.

Potter and Weasley had already turned to the little magical being.

“Are you telling me that you can apparate in and out of this room? Could you take us with you?”

Confused the elf starred at the both of them. “Of course, sir. I am an elf.”

Potter and Weasley looked at each other and nodded. They were doing their minds-talking thing again. Maybe instead of Granger, Weasley had something going on with Potter. Or they were in a three-way relationship. Or that was a Golden Trio thing. Who knows with those Gryffindors.

 

“Right, Dobby. So, I want you to take Luna, Mr. Ollivander, Dean, Kingsley and Malfoy to…”

“Not me, Potter. I am staying here.”

“What?!”, Potter and Weasley starred at her as if she had decided that she wanted to take a hippogriff as her new pet.

She rolled with her eyes. “I can’t leave.”

“What do you mean you can’t leave? Let Dobby open the door and apparate you out of her!”, Potter declared.

“That isn’t possible, the cell is enchanted by our dear Dark Lord. He was pretty pissed at me. And I can’t leave my parents. This will look as if I was conspiring with you. He will kill them. And they are all I have for a family. And I love them. And I will be more of use to you, here.”

“But what about V…”

“Potter! Don’t say that name. How bloody stupid can you be? Don’t worry about me, Potter. I am tough. Nothing bad will happen to me. Just go and rescue the rest of the world. Just do me a favour, and maybe hex my aunt. Seeing as I can’t leave this cell and do it myself.”

“I…”

“Harry, it’s Malfoy’s decision. He will know it best”, Weasley butted in.

She smirked towards the Weasel and winked. The redhead only rolled with his eyes and was muttering something to himself.

“Dobby bring them to Shell Cottage on the outskirts of Tinworth. Trust me.”

 

The soon-to-be-former prisoners of the Malfoy Manor walked to Dobby.

Kingsley turned to Malfoy and nodded. She nodded back.

“Whenever you are ready, sir”, Lovegood stated.

Dobby obviously flattered, declared that he rather liked the Ravenclaw.

The houseelf grabbed their hands and stated: “Meet me at the top of the stairs in ten seconds. And then they were gone.

As soon as he was gone, Pettigrew opened the dungeon door. Merely seconds later, he was attacked from behind, by Dobby. The only question he asked was that he wanted to know who was to get his wand.

Draco snorted. Dobby was an amusing houseelf. While he was working for the Malfoy household, she had hardly seen him. He was after all her father’s houseelf. And she had her own. She had hardly interacted with other houseelves than the ones that were responsible for her chores.

“Wait!”, Draco said.

Both boys turned around.

“Get a nerve-repairing potion for Granger. And here Potter”, Draco threw her wand to Potter.

The boy looked at her. Confused. “You need it more than me”, Draco simply told him.

Her mother had given it to her in secret. But she knew that Potter and Weasley would need everything they could acquire to turn this situation in their favour.

Potter nodded. “Don’t die, Malfoy.“

„Of course, not.“

 

And then they were gone. Draco could only hear that something was going up upstairs and then there was a loud bang. Draco shuddered. What was going on upstairs? Were they losing? Were they winning?

 

And then there was silence. Until her aunt shrieked. “How dare they!!!!”

 


	18. Battle of Hogwarts Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just now, I am super motivated to continue to story. And it just makes so much fun~~~~
> 
> Let me know what you're thinking in the comments~

It was the begin of May and will later be known as the end of the second Wizarding War. Voldemort now knew that Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley were hunting Horcruxes. He killed everyone responsible for the theft of one of his Horcruxes.

He let the Malfoy family watch as he killed everyone. Draco had been allowed out of her cell for only two weeks. She was always heavily watched by Death Eaters that she not always saw. He had not punished her for insulting Bellatrix, but her aunt was also not punished for hitting Draco.

As he walked over the corpses, over this sea of blood, he talked in parseltongue with his snake, his familiar, Nagini.

He finally stood in front of Draco Malfoy. “Draco, I want you to return to Hogwarts. As will the rest of my loyal followers.”

“Of course, my lord.”

“And Draco. You behaved really well for the last few weeks. Don’t disappoint me now.”

“Of course not, my Lord.” She bowed and left the room.

Her mother gripped her hand. “It’s best you leave immediately for Hogwarts.”

“Blinky”, Narcissa commanded and immediately a female houseelf appeared, she wore a simple greyish cloth made out of linen.

“Take Draco, immediately to Hogwarts.”

“Of course, my Lady. If the little missus would follow Blinky.”

She nodded and tried to send her parents an encouraging smile before she left with the Hogwarts.

________

 

“Snape knows. He knows that Harry was spotted in Hogsmeade”, Ginny declared.

Silence went through the room.

“Of course, he knows. After all it is Potter. He isn’t a sneaky one, isn’t he?”, declared a voice no one really expected.

Everyone turned around. And there he stood. Draco Malfoy. Leaning on the entrance door. Harry starred at him. The last time he saw him he did look worse. It seemed like the last few weeks were not that hard on him. He was envious. He could not say the same. The last weeks were more exhausting than everything else in his life. He had even ridden a bloody dragon!

“It’s Malfoy!”

“Oh no, Malfoy is back!”

“Since when is Malfoy back in Hogwarts?”

“How did he find us?”

Multiple wands were directed to him, threatening him. Draco only rolled with his eyes. There was no fear in his eyes.

“Potter? Granger? Weasley? If you were so nice to let your underlings know that I’m not here to kill you or deliver you to the Dark Lord.”

“You wish”, hissed someone.

“I… He’s right. Malfoy is on our side”, Potter declared. And was met with shocked faces.

“Wh..at?”, hysteria was about to break out.

“Were you cursed, Harry?”, wanted someone to know.

Everyone talked loudly while not letting go of their wands that were still directed towards the Malfoy heir.

“Silence!”, declared Hermione, “Malfoy is right. He works for us. Has for a long time. He is a spy. So out down your wands.”

A murmuring went through the room. They could not believe it.

“I really don’t wanna admit it, but Harry and Hermione are right. Malfoy helped us.”

“He even risked helping us in the dungeons”, admitted Dean Thomas.

“Gave us even those lovely candles. But sadly, was punished because of is”, stated Luna.

Slowly the other members of the D.A. lowered their wands. Draco continued to walk towards Harry. And only as she stood before them, she saw that Ron’s sister was standing a couple of metres apart. “Oh, I am sorry to interrupt this love-meeting. Did you change back to the Weaslette?”, Draco asked curiously.

“Want do you mean ‘change back’?”, Ginny wanted to know.

Draco shrugged with her shoulder. “You know. I always thought that the Golden Trio was a thing. They seem rather couple-y, don’t they? Always on the run together. Never wondered what they do together? I mean, they got a little bit of everything. Pureblood, halfblood, muggleborn, red hair, wild hair, bushy hair, blind as a bat, know-it-all, git, female, male; you catch my drift?”

“What...?”, declared the mentioned trio of friends. They even blushed.

“What the fuck are you talking about Malfoy?! We’re not in a threesome relationship! What bullshit are you spitting?!”, Ron spit furiously.

Draco simply laughed. “Just simply wanted to lift the mood a bit. Seemed so serious just now. And surely, I am not the only one who wondered, what you three did all the time. Just look at these blushing faces!”

The Malfoy heir continued to laugh. Potter, Granger and Weasley, both male and female, glared at her.

She coughed. “So… now to get back to the important part. Our dear Lord is assembling his army. He is coming to Hogwarts. He knows what you three were up to. And he is coming with everything that he has left. The final battle will be here.”

“…I…”

“I can’t stay here long. The Carrows are responsible for keeping an eye on me. I can only evade them for a short period. So, you best think a plan up, to evacuate the younger students.”

Hermione nodded. But before she could tell what they would be best do next, Draco interrupted her. “I will take care of the Slytherins. There are innocents even there. I gotta go. Don’t die!”

And then the Malfoy heir was gone.

 

_______

 

Later that evening Snape, the headmaster of Hogwarts, let the students assemble. The Carrow siblings right behind him. No one dared to say a word. Most had a suspicion why there were asked or rather ordered to assemble. Draco Malfoy was also present. It had been some time since she had seen Snape. Her somewhat-uncle. He looked tired.

“Surly, you are wondering why I have summoned you at this hour of a day. It’s come to my attention that earlier this evening, Harry Potter was sighted in Hogsmeade.”

Murmuring went through the hall.

“Now”, Snape interrupted the noise, “should anyone, student or staff, dare to attempt to aid Mr. Potter… they _will_ be punished in a manner consistent with the severity of their transgression. Furthermore, any person who has knowledge of such events and fails to come forward will be treated as equally guilty. Is that understood?”

Snape walked through the masses of students. No one talked. Silence went through the room.

“If anyone has knowledge of Mr. Potter’s plans regarding this evening, I invite them to step forward… Now.”

Draco starred at Snape. Not turning away. He looked her in the eyes. Shortly. But did not halt, he continues to walk even further.

And then someone stepped forward. Who was so stupid as to do so? Whisper runs through the hall. Draco turned around. And rolled her eyes. Potter and his extravagant appearances. Was that maybe a thing of everyone allied to Potter? She, not yet, had gotten such an impulse.

“It seems, Professor, that despite your harsh and strict measurements that you have quite the security problem.”

And the door to the Great Hall opened and the D.A. and the Order of the Phoenix walked through.

“How dare you stand where he stood!”, Potter declared, “Tell them how it happened! Tell them how you looked him in the eyes and killed him. You killed him even though he trusted you. He trusted you and believed in you!”

Stunned Draco looked to her feet. She was not totally innocent regarding the death of the former headmaster. She also carried responsibilities for his death.

Snape pulled out his wand and directed it towards Potter. Shocked, the students run to the sides of the Great Hall as to not get caught in any possibly crossfire between Snape and Potter. Draco did the same. This was not her fight. But she would not need to worry. Only a few moments later, McGonagall stepped in front of Potter, as to protect him. In just a few seconds later, McGonagall and Snape exchange curses with each other. The Carrow siblings were quickly down. McGonagall forced her way forward. The fight did not last long. Snape escaped through the window. “Coward!”, shouted the female teacher after the Death Eater. Cheering and clapping lightened up the hall. Since weeks the students of Hogwarts finally felt free. And somewhat happy. Winning seemed not that impossible anymore.

But the happy feelings did also not last long. Immediately the hall got darker. A sinister presence seemed to fill the room. A presence Draco had felt a handful of times. She knew who that was. And Potter knew it also. Some girls were shrieking in the hall. And then everyone heard the voice. _His_ voice. Voldemort’s voice. For most of them, it was the first time. Not so for Draco or Harry.

“I know that many of you will want to fight”, stated the bodyless voice, “Some might even think to fight is wise. But that’s only what a fool might think. Give me Harry Potter. Do so and no one will be harmed. Give me Harry Potter and Hogwarts will be untouched. Give me Harry Potter and I might even reward you. You will have one hour.”

Everyone stared at Potter.

“Well what are you doing? Grab Potter and hand him over!”, Pansy stuttered.

Draco rolled with her eyes. How can Pansy be so stupid. Draco turned towards her and send a light stinging hex towards her. She shrieked in shock. And looked at Draco, betrayed.

“Learn to read the situation, Parkinson. You should know when to shut up. You’re definitely at a disadvantage here.”

“I… But… Draco…”, but before Pansy could continue, Filch interrupted here. “Students out of the bed! Students put of the bed!”

And shortly Filch was ordered by McGonagall to take all the Slytherins to the dungeons. Draco followed them too.

“How dare you Draco!”, hissed Pansy.

“You should thank me. They were about to lynch you!”, hissed Draco back and ignored her for the rest of the way towards the dungeons.

 

And then an hour later Hogwarts castle was attacked by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. They attacked the castle from everywhere. Even the Slytherins felt the tremors in the dungeons.

It was as if hell has broken loose. The Slytherins in the dungeons went crazy. First years were crying. Scared for their life.

And then there was complete silence. The wards surrounding Hogwarts have fallen.

“Goyle, Crabbe, Zabini! Get them out of here!”

The boys simply nodded. And Draco used this distraction to get lost in the masses of students.

 

______

 

“Looking for that Potter?”, an arrogant voice asked.

Wand raised; Potter turned around. There stood Draco Malfoy and the diadem that he was looking for in his hands. The green-eyed boy looked at the blond with a certain mistrust. Would he change sides now? Was he just like Snape? Changing his allegiance, like it fits him?

Draco rolled with his eyes. “Nice to see what you think of me Potter.”

“Harry?”, asked Hermione behind him. There was also Ron.

“Catch Potter”, and in the next moment, Draco threw the horcrux at him. He caught it without any problems.

Potter grinned. “Thanks, Malfoy.”

Draco sneered. For appearance-reasons, of course.

“I knew it Malfoy! You’re a fucking traitor!”

Draco turned around. All colour had left his face. “Goyle!”, panted Draco.

Draco signalled Potter and the others to slowly leave. Goyle raised his wand, as did Draco and the other two. Draco’s mother had given her wand to her daughter. So that she would not be completely unprotected. It was not as good as her own, but it would fulfil its needs.

“Goyle, calm down. We can talk about everything…”

Goyle shook his head vehemently. “No… how dare you betray our cause. And I … admired you. And you’re … a bloody traitor!”, the Slytherin cried out.

Goyle fired a stinging hex towards Draco. She deflected it easily. Potter and the rest of the Golden Trio were no longer in Goyle’s sight. He let out a shout of frustration. “I have enough of it!”, shouted the teenager.

And then fire was spitting out of his wand. Draco tried to evade it by casting a water spell. But it did not work. That was no simple fire spell. That was cursed fire. That was fiendfyre. A cursed fire Draco had only read of in one of the darkest spell books she could find in the Malfoy library. There was no countercurse. It was a fire whose hunger could never be satisfied. It would burn till nothing was left. Neither of them, nor the Room of Hidden Things. Fire was still spitting out of Goyle’s wand. Draco sent a stronger stinging hex towards his wands. It met its target. The boy let out a shriek of pain and let go the wand. As it fell to the floor, Draco kicked it towards the fire, hoping that if the source was destroyed it would end. But that seemed not to be the case here. She grabbed Goyle by his arm and pulled him away from the fire. They had to get out of here, or they will be burnt to death!

“C’mon! Run faster, you idiot!”

She tried to cast some shielding spells as to force the fire back, but nothing seemed to work.

“Hurry up, let’s climb up!” Fire was all around them. And would soon be their end. As fast as the two Slytherins were able to, they climbed up a tower made out of lost things. Things that once belonged to someone but were soon to be perished in the cursed fire.

As soon as the both of them were on the upper side the tower, Draco saw someone flying towards her on brooms. It was Potter and his friends! Potter grabbed her first, she swung herself behind him, grabbed his waist with his arms. He smelt of sweat and ash and something else penetrated her nose. Something that seemed to be Harry’s own smell. Something that was originating from him. Draco found herself leaning into his neck, somewhat liking the smell… Nearly being comforted by it. But then she heard a shout. She looked back. Goyle was still hanging at the tower, threatening to be burnt alive.

“Turn around Potter!”

“I can’t! We will be killed!”

“Turn. Around!”

Potter grunted but he did turn around. As they flew towards the Slytherin, Draco grabbed him by his arms. She nearly fell off. Goyle was too heavy for her to carry. They nearly lost their balance. She saw the Weasel flying to them.

“Weasel! Grab Goyle, I can’t carry him!”

Ron flew, without uttering a word, next to them, pulled Goyle to him and seconds later, he was seated behind him. What seemed nearly forever but actually only lasted a short moment and they were outside the room. As soon as they exited the room, they fell off the brooms.

“Harry! Throw it in!”, Hermione shouted.

Harry nodded and took the diadem and threw it inside the room. So that it would be destroyed. The Golden Trio watched as the next horcrux was destroyed. The doors to the Room of Hidden Things closed. Harry stumbled. And a few seconds later, he muttered: “It’s the snake. She’s his last one.”

But before Granger or Weasley could react, Goyle was shrieking in pain. Draco turned to him. His right hand had caught fire and was threatening to burn his whole body. The blond jumped towards him and in mere seconds she casted “Sectis”. And Goyle’s shriek grew in intensity. His right hand was no longer attached to him but right next to him and just a moment, there was no hand. It had burnt. And the fire was gone. Blood was sprouting out of his wound. Right towards Draco. On her clothes. On her hands. And even face. With shivering fingers, she casted another spell. As to close the wound. Goyle had fainted. Out of shock, pain or blood loss; Draco was not sure. She tore piece of her sleeve and wrapped it around his wound. It had closed pretty neatly. And as she looked around, Goyle had not lost that much blood. He would be fine.

She let herself fall to her knees right next to him. She threw her fists on his torso with shivering hands. “Greg you fucking idiot! Why couldn’t you just leave? You nearly killed us all, you idiot!” Tears were flowing out of her eyes. The shock was wrecking through her body. Shivers that she could not supress. The tears seemed not to stop. She had after all just cut off the hand of one of her…. Friends.

“Mal..foy… you…”, began the Weasel.

Immediately Draco turned around and glared at him, through her teary eyes.

“I had to cut his hand of. The idiot casted fiendfyre! Cursed fire! It would have burnt his whole body. Losing a hand is better than losing your life!”, shrieked the blond.

“I…”, croaked the redhead.

Hermione stepped towards him and laid a hand on his shoulders. “Draco was right. It would have killed him. He saved Goyle’s life. It is a miracle that he thought of this immediately. He will live.”

Potter stared at Malfoy intensely. He was rather shocked how easily and fast Draco had been able to cut of the hand of someone he had known and lived with for years. But then he saw something strange about him. “Malfoy … are you wearing a glamour?”

Shocked, Draco turned her back towards the Golden trio. And there she felt it. Her glamour was evaporating. Either through the cursed fire or because she had not renewed it for some time. She raised her wand with shivering fingers, recasted her glamour. It fitted like a second skin. Nothing at miss. “Don’t worry about it, Potter”, Draco muttered.

But before he could protest, Draco interrupted him. “There are more trivial matters. Look for the snake!”

Weasley agreed to it. “Malfoy is right. Harry, can’t you use the connection to see where he might be?”

Potter nodded and closed his eyes. They could still hear, the war going on. Everywhere was shouting and spells being fired. The whole earth seemed to shake. When Potter reopened his eyes, he only declared: “I know where he is. Where he wants to go.”

The Golden Trio jumped up but then turned towards Draco. She simply shook her head. “Go. I need to take care of things here.”

Potter intensely starred at her face. And then nodded. She knew that as soon as this war was over, he will ask some question. About her glamour. About everything that was going on.

 


	19. Battle of Hogwarts Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the battle continues~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a really big thank you for all the nice comments.

As soon as the trio was gone Draco let out a sigh of relief. She checked Greg’s vitals. He seemed rather alright. Well except his arms. But he was in no life-threatening situation. It had been a good idea to check out and learn all those healing related spells. Most people forget when preparing for a war that healing was a rather good defence and might just save your life.

Should she leave him here? Did he save here? But where should she put him? After a short while, she decided to let him stay here. He was not hidden so that should something happen to her, he would not be overlooked. She conjured a blood replantation potion. She had brew some, thinking they might come in handy. And they did. She put it next to him, casted a protection charm around the potion, so that it will not be crushed. Next, she casted one on Greg. So that he was somewhat safe. People with will intent towards him, would not easily find him, as long as he was asleep. And she does not think that he will remain asleep for a long time. With one last look, she left her fellow Slytherin.

She went to leave outside. Her breath faltered. That was worse than anything else she ever imagined. Hogwarts was in its ruins. Giants, giant spiders, werewolves and Death Eaters were all fighting against wizards and students of Hogwarts. This was pure hell. Draco saw some people on the floor. Corpses. Victims from this was. From both sides of the war. Just lying there while the fight was still going on. This must be what hell was like. And that is how Voldemort wanted to create and establish his new world order? On the corpses and deaths of his allies and enemies? How could anyone sane follow this mad man? How many more people had to die until this was finally over? Were her parents even still alive? Draco gulped heavily. She felt like throwing up.

Now was not the time for such weakness. She inhaled and exhaled. Tried to calm herself. Somewhat. And went down the stairs. Tightly, she gripped her wand. Her mother’s wand. She will try to keep the causalities to a minimum. Not everyone had to die. Not for Potter. Nor for Voldemort.

As she walked downstairs, she saw one of Weasley’s brothers. One of the twins. He was battling a Death Eater and another brother was just a few metres apart from him. Also battling a Death Eater. She run towards them. A Death Eater has just sent a curse towards the wall, in front of which the Weasley twin stood. She run, and as the explosion sounded, she tackled him, threw him away from the wall. Away from the danger. From his possible and probable death.

“Fred!”, someone cried.

“Alive!”, the twin shouted back.

Draco blinked. She was rather dizzy. Did she hit her head?

“Oh, my Malfoy”, tuned in the boy’s voice. He had turned his head to see who his hero was. And to his surprise, it was the Malfoy heir! There was no way he could mistake this blond hair for someone else. The boy on whose back, she was still laying. “I thought you were boy. But either you got a bit fat, or you are actually a girl and I am feeling your lovely womanly bosom on my back…”

“I … what?!”, squeaked Draco. Jumped away from him and checked herself. Her glamour had deactivated. Again?! “Fuck!”, she muttered. Her mother’s wand was not that compatible with her. She recasted the spell and with a sigh of relief her glamour settled into place.

“Oh my, what a lovely maiden you are~”, sang Fred, “and rescuing meee! What an honour.”

“Shut up and listen well, Weasel. If you tell someone what you saw… or felt, I’m gonna kill you! And not in a nice way! I gonna cut off your …” But before she could continue her curse or rather threat what she was planning to do with Fred Weasley if he told someone what she saw, everyone heard a voice inside their head. Voldemort’s voice.

“You fought bravely. All of you. But it has been in vain. I will win. I do not wish for more unnecessary deaths. Every death of magical blood is waste. Therefore, I command my forces to retreat. Dispose of your deaths in their absence. Take care of your needs. Harry Potter, it is your fault that all your friends have died. You should have delivered yourself to me. Join me in the Forbidden Forest as to meet your fate. If not, I will destroy everyone no matter who they are who try to hide you from me.”

In mere seconds, all the Death Eaters were gone, as were all the other allies of Voldemort. Together  with the Weasel, she helped getting the injured and dead inside Hogwarts, into the Great Hall. As soon as they delivered them, Fred took her by her hand and pulled her with him. “What? Let go!”, Draco tried to free herself from him. Soon they stood in front of the Weasel family, luckily it seemed no one of the Weasel family was dead. She could only hope the same for her own family.

“Fred!”, exclaimed multiple voices. And soon the Weasley twin found himself in the arms of his family members. “We thought you were gone!”, sobbed his mother, gripping her son harder. He grinned and freed himself of their hug. “I nearly was a goner! But then, whoosh, Malfoy comes to my rescue. Like a dazzling knight rescuing his princess, isn’t that so, Malfoy?”, Fred asked cheeky. Draco blushed in return and muttered something to herself. Something in the lines of “biggest mistake in my life. Freaking pervert. Gonna kill him by myself when this all is over…” But soon she also found herself in an embrace. The Weasel mother nearly crushed her. She was a rather strong woman. She sobbed while thanking her. “I thank you. I thank you for saving, my boy.”

Embarrassed, Draco patted her back. “It’s… fine.”

“It’s not just fine. You’re…. a hero”

“Urgh”, Draco made a grimace. Next time, they might even call her Potter. The rest of the Weasel family laughed. Even Granger smiled a little bit. Potter was not around. She walked around, to see if there was something she could do. But there were more dead than injured people. She felt herself letting out breathes of relief every time she passed a corpse and knew that were not her parents. She felt ashamed. There were people dead and she felt relieved that they were not her parents. But someone else’s child, parent, husband, wife or sibling was dead. She walked until she finally stopped. There was man with greyish black hair, kneeling in front of a couple. It was Professor Lupin. And according to the wedding rings, his wife. She had not known that Lupin has married. The man in front of the couple was sobbing. “Remus…”, he croaked.

“You… You’re my cousin, aren’t you?”, Draco asked.

The man turned to her and looked at her through red and tear-stained eyes. “Oh… You’re Cissy’s.”

She nodded. She had hardly heard anyone ever calling her mother ‘Cissy’. It was weird. And seemed so… plebeian. “You’re also Potter’s godfather”, she also stated. She felt rather stupid, stating all those facts. He simply nodded.

“I… I am sorry for your loss. He… He was a good teacher. Made lessons fun. Even though I never told or showed him that. I… I am sorry”, she felt how she also had to fight to not cry. And she was never even close to Professor Lupin.

“I… Thank you...”, whispered Black, “I am sure he knew it. Remus had a thing of knowing things without them, you know, being told out loud. Did… Have you lost someone today? Where are your parents?”

“I…”, Draco gulped heavily, she really hoped they were alright, “I don’t know yet. I don’t know anything.”

She felt how she was starting to lose control. Her hands began to shiver, and her ankle hurt. It throbbed. Nearly as bad as when her aunt broke it. Tears were collecting in her eyes. She only wanted to cry. And to feel her parents hug. She has not hugged them for quite a while. Especially her father. She really hoped they were alright. She did not know what she would do if something had happened to them.

“You… Something is off about you”, stated Black.

She choked. And then laughed. “What’s up with today. I was called so many things that I normally wouldn’t…”

Black grinned. “That’s what happens in battle. Unexpectant things happen.”

He stood up. Patted the dust from his clothes. “They wouldn’t have wanted me to cry for them while this fight is still going on. I will see who needs my help. Thanks.” He patted her shoulder and left.

They cared for the injured the whole night. No one questioned Draco why she was here. She took Greg to the quarter where they cared for the injured. Potter was nowhere to be seen.

And as the next morning broke, Voldemort, the Death Eaters and Harry Potter returned to Hogwarts.

 


	20. Battle of Hogwarts Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes the ending of the Battle.

Everyone assembled outside. Hagrid carried someone in his arms. Harry Potter.

“Harry Potter is dead!”, declared the Dark Lord proudly.

“NO!”, shrieked the Weasel girl.

“Silence!”, exclaimed Voldemort, “stupid girl.”

“From this moment on, you put your faith in me.” He turned to his Death Eaters. “Harry Potter is dead!”, he exclaimed in… glee.

And the Death Eaters laughed. This all seemed like a rather bad play.

“And now is your last chance to declare your allegiance to me. Come forward, don’t be shy. Join us or die.”

No one dared to move. But then she exchanged a look with her parents.

“Draco!”, called Lucius Malfoy vehemently. “Draco.”

“Draco, come”, joined Narcissa.

Draco closed her eyes. Breathed in and out. Trying to calm herself. And stepped forwards. She could feel the looks of everyone. How betrayed they felt. Especially Hermione and Ron. She saw her cousin, Sirius Black shook his head at her, but she continued to walk. To Voldemort. To her own damnation. She stopped in front of the dark wizard.

“Ah… The young Malfoy. I had so many plans for you… And I did say for anyone to come forward, didn’t I?”

Draco gripped her wand tighter. “If… I will give you what you wish from me, willingly. Whatever you want. I… will be yours. In return… Leave Hogwarts and let the students be. Don’t… Don’t kill anybody else… I. Please…”

Voldemort grinned at her desperate plea. “Oh my”, he begun, “It seems, dear Draco. You misunderstood your importance. It is not that _I_ need you. It was simply… a new idea. What to do with you. And you could have everything. You were to be my loyal consort. I would have given you everything…” He caressed her face. Once again, she could not withstand the shiver that went through her. Voldemort’s grin got bigger; he was amused by her reaction towards him. He gripped her chin. “But then you went and betrayed me.” He turned her around so that her back turned to him and she was forced to look at the enemies of Voldemort, all the while he was still gripping her chin. His nails were cutting little wounds in her face. Blood flew down her chin.

“And I am not talking about you giving water or candles to prisoners. No…”, he whispered closely to her ear. Disgust went through her body. “You were fraternizing with my enemy. With Harry Potter.” Her eyes widened in shock. He knew! “That’s why I went a bit overboard with your punishment the last time. I really thought you would have learnt. But apparently you didn’t. Helping the enemy. I simply… can’t forgive you that. So, I will have to pay you back.”

He gripped her mother’s wand and tore it out of her grasp. And threw it away. While laughing the whole time.

“My dear fellow wizards, I have to tell you something really interesting. Dear Draco Malfoy, he played both sides. He sold information to Potter. While being marked by me! And he was never truly honest to either side. And now his play comes to an end. You have to know, that Draco Malfoy is a talented liar. His true name is Draco Lyra Malfoy and is a woman” and with that he ripped the glamour away from her. Her whole appearance changed within one second. She grew a bit shorter, her blond hair got longer, reaching till her shoulder, her shoulders growing narrower, her hips widened, her chest grew so that a female bulge could be seen, her facial features grew softer. A female Draco starred at the crowd. A shocked gasp and murmuring went through. Ron and Hermione felt betrayed. Why hadn’t she tried to trust in them? Why did she keep such a secret? Did she lie with something else as well?

Voldemort giggled. And threw Draco to the floor. “You should have simply followed me and remained loyal to me…” He clicked with his tongue. “I still have to punish you.”

And casted the Cruciatus curse on her. She wriggled and cried out in pain. It was worse than the first time. As if more daggers were cutting more often through everywhere in her skin. She could hear how her mother and father were crying out for her. “Silence!”, demanded Voldemort. “And now you will simply become my slave!”.

She could not answer. She was in too much pain. She had to fight as to not lose her consciousness. Her whole body hurt. And there was nothing she would rather do then sleep.  Who was supposed to defeat this madman now that Potter was dead? Now, that he sacrificed himself for them. In vain. Voldemort would not stop. The killings would not end. And then Neville stood in front of him. Limping the Gryffindor neared his enemy. The Dark Lord was still giggling over his apparent win. His archenemy was dead after all, and he had humiliated and punished Draco Malfoy. Feelings of euphoria swept through the mad man. Nothing could stop him. No one powerful was still alive who could probably fight and defeat him. The world was his. As he saw Neville, his giggling stopped.

“Well… After Malfoy… I had hoped for better.”

The Death Eater crowd was still laughing. Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy tried to get near their daughter but before they could step one step towards her, Bellatrix send a stinging hex as a warning. “My daughter!”, sobbed Narcissa and gripped her husband harder. “Shut up and stay where you are”, hissed Bellatrix. Draco’s breathing grew more erratic. She had to calm her breath and ignore the pain. There was no other way out of here.

“And who might you be, young man?”

“Neville Longbottom.”

The crowd laughed once again.

Voldemort walked away from the blond on the floor and took some steps towards the Gryffindor. Draco closed her eyes. Breathe in and out. And with every breathe you do, ignore the pain a bit more.

“Well, Neville, I am sure we can find a place for you among my ranks.”

“I want to say something.”

Voldemort hesitated. That was not what he expected. He turned around and starred at the injured woman on the floor. Her eyes were closed. Her wand was nowhere near her. He stood himself in front of her. He thought it best, should the situation escalate that he was near his future slave. She might get away, or killed, in a possible tumult. Something he wanted to evade. He had plans for her. Not enjoyable ones. Well, at least not for her.

He looked at Neville, once again. “Well Neville, speak. Might be your last chance. Choose your words wisely.”

“It doesn’t matter that Harry is gone.”

“Neville, get back!”

The Gryffindor ignored the other voice.

“People die every day. Friends, family. And today we lost Harry. But he is not entirely gone. And so are the others that have fallen. They did not die in vain! But you will! Because you’re wrong!”

Voldemort started to laugh.

Draco opened her eyes. Neville was right. No one died in vain. And no one will. Voldemort was right in front of her. With shivering fingers, she gripped her bracelet. There were some little pendants on it. She tore one of, a little dagger. She collected all her magical power in the next spell. _Engorgio._ She held a dagger in her hand. A dagger that had a little button at his pommel. As soon as she would press it, a little opening in the scabbard containing poison would be opened and inject its victim with a highly potent poison. After her release from the dungeons, she had used every free minute that she was not watched in her room, creating a dangerous poison. Ruby, her parrot-fae friend, had helped her. He had brought her a highly poisonous plant. Moonseed. And other plants so that together they would increase its deadly effect. Any normal human being would die within mere seconds after being injected with such a high dose. But she was not sure if the same would count for Voldemort. He had a human body, but she was not sure how humane he actually was. This was no real body that had been created through the union of a woman and man but through a dark ritual. At the very least, it would weaken him enough for someone else to attack and finish him off.

Nagini hissed. She was getting agitated and got closer to Neville, as if to attack him. Neville pulled out the Sword of Gryffindor.

“It’s not over!”

Draco took all her strength and rammed the dagger in Voldemort’s left calf. The dagger did not penetrate deep. But deep enough for her to be sure that if she pushed the button the poison would be transported into his blood circulation. The Dark Lord shouted in pain. He spun around and tore the dagger out his calf. Baring his teeth, he took the dagger and wanted to impale her with it himself. When suddenly something black attacked him. A big black parrot bit and scratched him while shrieking. In seconds he injured the bird, who in return had bitten his hand that was holding the dagger so hard that he had to let go of it. The bird fell to the floor.

“Don’t touch him!”, Draco shouted towards Voldemort.

Lorcan had protected her! Even though he had told her that he was not allowed to meddle in their war! He had rescued her! And now he might die. Voldemort ignored the bird and turned towards her. He kicked her in her stomach. Gripped her at her throat. “I have finally enough of you!”, he hissed while his spit met her face. He was furious. He was cutting of her air with his tight grip. He would kill her. But at least he would also go down. She would not die in vain.

But then something unexpected happen. Hagrid who had carried the corpse of Harry Potter, let simply go of him. And there he stood. Alive. Harry Potter. And immediately blasted a “Confringo” towards the snake. In shock, Voldemort let go of her throat. Her head thumped on the floor. She cried and coughed in pain. Finally, air was flooding once again through her lungs. But the fall to her head, made her limp. Harry Potter was running, and Voldemort was blasting one spell after another after the boy who lived. Death Eater after Death Eater were running away and apparating away. Draco hardly noticed it. She was in too much pain. But she soon was in the arms of her parents.

“L..Luciuss.. What should we do?! My baby… Do something!”, her mother sobbed.

Her father knelt right next to her. “I am sorry, my  child. Please forgive me… I…”

But before they could say anything, Sirius Black was right next to them. He created a shield around them. Seeing as Bellatrix was about to blast them to their deaths. “Take her inside. To the Great Hall. There are some healers. She will pull through!”, he urged them.

Her parents did not move at first. “Hurry!”, he hissed.

And as her father took her in her arms, Draco opened her eyes and looked around. Deliriously. There were Lorcan’s parrot form should be laying, there was nothing. Only the dagger and a bit of blood. Had he escaped?

She only heard the blasting of curses, exploding of stones, and the fast pacing of her father’s heart. He smelt of tears, blood and sweat. Nevertheless, she felt safe. She closed her eyes. She was rather tired after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea of this fanfiction of this one scene. The scene in which Voldemort tears of Draco's glamour. That was the first and original scene of this fanfiction. And originally, I wanted to start the fanfiction like that, but decided otherwise. Tbh, I like it the way it now is.


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